It's Hard Not to Hate - An Outlaw Love Story

Chapter Twenty-One.

Jax emerged a few minutes later, free of any blood, his clothes changed and a white bandage wrapped around the knuckles of his right hand. Abel sat on the couch, enjoying his after-dinner snack of dry Cheerios, his eyes fixated on the TV where Finding Nemo played for the third time that day. He was going through a phase where it was one of the only things that would appease him for more than five minutes. Taylor followed Jax into the kitchen, him motioning for her to sit before beginning to pull boxes and jars from the cabinets that surrounded him. As Jax waited on the water to boil he poured them each a glass of whiskey, setting Taylor's down on the table in front of her while Jax immediately began nursing his own.

He worked in silence for a while, Taylor watching his every move, her eyes darting back and forth as he maneuvered around the kitchen. Who would've thought; Sons of Anarchy VP by day, doting father and chef by night. Taylor clinked her nail against the side of the glass, over and over, watching as condensation rolled down the side, pooling on the wood below. She sipped it, burning her lungs in the process, a welcome change in sensation for her.

"What happened to Abel's mom?" She had made a mental note to ask about her, after what Gemma had said. She knew she had left right after Abel was born, but other than that she knew nothing else. She heard a sigh from Jax as he stirred the pasta. He turned around to face her, leaning his hips against the counter, the gray color of his sweatpants stark against the dark wood.

"She's a junkie. Heroin. Found out she was pregnant after I had already filed for divorce." Divorce. She hadn't known he was married to her. One question at a time, she told herself. "I wasn't around much for the pregnancy, she kept using, had Abel three months early. The drugs caused a lot of health problems for him, he was in the hospital a while. After she realized I had no intention of taking her back, she split. Abel was only a few weeks old. Haven't heard from her since." His words were short, his tone very matter-of-fact. Jax turned back toward the stove.

"Where is she now?" Taylor asked. Jax shrugged.

"No idea. And I don't care to know." Jax carried the pot of cooked pasta to the sink and drained it, finishing up the sauce before making two dishes and seating himself across from Taylor. He peaked around the corner at Abel, who was now sleeping soundly, his face lit by the blue light emanating from the screen across from him. "Why do you ask?"

Taylor stabbed a noodle with her fork and brought it to her mouth. "Gemma brought her up today." Jax furrowed his brow. She debated on telling him what had happened, had been all day, but decided if he was going to be honest with her, she would have to reciprocate. "He called me mama. And Gemma was here. She flew off the handle."

"He called you mom?" Jax quipped, almost choking on the food he was chewing. He took a sip of his drink, his eyes wide as he stared at Taylor. His heart felt at if it was skipping beats.

"I'm sorry, Jax. I don't know where he heard it, I didn't teach him-"

"Why are you apologizing? You're more of a mother to him than anyone has been. My own included. I'm sure he can sense that. You have no reason to apologize."

"Your mom didn't feel the same," she replied, shoving another bite between her lips.

"What did she say?" His voice was loud, his words hot.

"That he has a mother, I'm not her, I was just hired out of pity and she would make sure that I didn't get any closer to you or Abel." The words fell from her lips fast, practically running together as her nerves mounted inside of her.

Jax was quiet for a moment before his fist connected with the table, slamming down on it hard, causing the dishes that sat atop it to rattle. Taylor jumped; he had a look in his eyes she had never seen, one she hoped to never see again.

"Jesus Christ. That bitch-" Jax remembered his son was asleep in the other room and he stopped. He ran his fingers through his hair, pulling at the strands as he tried to control his anger. "I don't know what her fucking problem is. She hated Wendy, always had. She never wanted me to marry her. And after what happened with Abel- fuck, she tried to kill her for God's sake. It makes no sense that she is treating Wendy like she's a saint, like she's the one who was wronged in all of this, not Abel."

Taylor shrugged. "Because she despises me."

"It's not fair. You don't deserve this. I am so sorry, babe."

"It's not your fault, Jax." Taylor reached over and grabbed his hand, giving it a squeeze.

"But she's my mother. And she has no reason to treat you this way." His eyes held a sadness she had never seen, a sense of vulnerability that was foreign to him. "I didn't hire you out of pity or anything else. I hired you because of how you are with my son, because you treat him like your own, and because he loves you. And because I-," he paused. "I started falling for you. I wanted you around, to be able to see you. It took a while for me to admit it to myself. The feelings I have for you are something I have never experienced before, with anyone else."

"I feel the same way, Jax."

Taylor changed the subject and they chatted easily as they finished their meal, having breezy conversations about Abel, leaving the heavy stuff behind for the time being. After they finished Taylor took to cleaning the kitchen while Jax put Abel to bed. The evening was coming to an end and she could feel her heart sinking at the thought of having to say goodbye to Jax again, after just getting him back.

After a few minutes alone Jax snuck up behind her, wrapping his arms around her body and pulling her into him. He feathered soft kisses down her neck as he held her tight. She shut her eyes and enjoyed the closeness, her fingers absentmindedly playing with the gauze that dressed his hand. The only sounds in the quaint home were that of their breathing, keeping time with one another, and the soft hum of the air conditioner as it cycled.

"I guess I better head home," she pouted, nuzzling her head against Jax's that was resting on her shoulder. "Let you get some rest. I'm sure you're exhausted."

He spun her around, a devilish grin on his face, and leaned forward to kiss her. "You're not going anywhere." With that he grabbed her hand and led her down the hall to the bathroom, shutting the door behind them. The shower had been running, their bodies becoming encased in steam as they stood facing each other in the middle of the room. Jax took a step toward her, closing some of the distance and grabbed the hem of her shirt. He began undressing her, each article of clothing being removed one by one, until she was bare. He remained clothed, his eyes wandering over her body, memorizing every inch of exposed skin, the lines, the dimples, the curves. She shifted uncomfortably, fighting the urge to cover herself.

"I can't get enough of you, darlin," he muttered, reaching forward and caressing her cheek before tucking a lock of hair behind her ear.

In one swift motion he dropped to his knees and began pleasuring her, focused all on her, not at all on himself. She moaned loud, not even having time to feel embarrassed. Her hands tangled in his hair and she lost herself in the ecstasy. She'd never been treated this way before, sexually or otherwise, and it was a nice change of pace.

She dipped over the edge, curse words spilling from her mouth, and Jax moved back up to her level, removing his shirt and pants with a grin on his face. He grabbed her waist and pulled her closer, their mouths crashing, Taylor moaning as she tasted herself, her legs wobbly beneath her.

They ended up in the shower, the glass doors had become opaque from the steam. The warm water cascaded over them, filling the empty spaces between their skin as their hands roamed each other's bodies. Taylor's heart burned with desire and, dare she say it, love. She was falling in love with Jax Teller, and she was falling hard and fast. His world didn't fit with hers, they were polar opposites, but maybe that's what made it feel so right.

Jax pushed Taylor up against the wall as his tongue fought for dominance, the tile against her spine a stark contrast to the heat that embraced her everywhere else. Jax lifted her up, his body pining hers against the wall as he rocked into her, keeping a steady rhythm. He was falling too, harder and faster than Taylor, if that was at all possible. As he reached his high he fought back the urge to profess his love to her, this wasn't the right time or the right moment. It had to be special.

It had to be soon. He had to make her his. For real. And for good.