When the Ground Shakes

Chapter 6: Consequence

(Beck)

If I though I didn't get any sleep before becoming a father, I couldn't have been more wrong in my life. Jade was the deepest sleeper ever, and sadly I was not.

I guess it never really mattered if Jade was a deep sleeper because it turns out she didn't want any part of being a parent. She didn't necessarily break up with me, rather avoided me for weeks on end, occasionally asking about Leah.

I felt like an idiot for thinking Jade would want to be a mom, and I realized that she had pretended for my sake when she said she wasn't going to send her daughter off to a stranger. She really just meant she wasn't going to be there and I would take care of her. Awesome, points for Jade fooling me once again have been awarded.

I see her occasionally at lunch, sitting alone, sometimes with Cat who I believe feels stuck in the middle.

Jade doesn't even want to be involved in Leah's life, in which, I disagree with. To an extreme.

***
When I arrived at school, it was one of the three days I took Leah with me, she was sound asleep surprisingly in her car seat, and I pulled into the lot.

I grabbed my messenger bag and a smaller backpack that I could fit into my locker.

She was going to Tori's house tonight, since she offered and Andre was apparently going to help. And yes, they had been dating for just a few months, and no, they haven't fought yet. Weird.

When I pulled Leah out of her car seat, she slept with a few small noises erupting.

I walked into school, where she inevitably woke up, and I immediately fed her.

I waited by my locker, Jade passing me like a ghost.

Tori came up to me shortly afterwards, looking at Leah expectantly.

"I guess it's Tori's turn today." I said, pretending as if I'd forgotten just to make her feel guilty.

"Woah Beck if you don't want to,, you definitely dont have to I mean I'm not trying to-

I cut her off. "It's fine Tori I'm just joking." I said with a grin.

Tori glared at me, before I shifted Leah into her arms, who let out a roar of disapproval.

"Nope. Not today. You're gonna have fun, and play with Auntie Tori today" she said with a smile.

"You know my locker combo when you need something. The bag is in there for after school." I said.

"Okay. I think I've got it. I'll come to you if something scares me to death."

"I didn't know corpses could walk" I joked before heading off to history.

***
(Jade)

I screwed up. I should've gotten an abortion and tried to make up for it later.

I thought it was painful seeing Beck with another girl, but it turns out seeing him alone and with my daughter is worse.

At least he's not in it totally alone, although he's not doing too shabby so far.

However much I may wish I could love Leah, it doesn't make up for what kind of Mom I've already become. I've also come to the decision that if Leah is the product of love, I want no part of it. Children are icky and disgusting, and so much work. I'm not meant to be a mother.
***
(Beck)

After history, and after no Tori popping in to explain some tragedy, I went to the janitors closet just to see. I was hoping Jade was in there so that I could see how much regret she feels, but no hope. She really doesn't care.