Since the last time I posted, a lot has happened. I've made friends, I've lost some too. I've fallen into dark periods of my life, like an eating disorder and hurting myself, trying to gain control over the world I set spinning off its axis. I've experienced what its like to get so angry at someone that I threw things, punched walls, and broken things. I've worn myself thin trying to keep someone alive who just mistreated me in the end. I've applied to colleges, but haven't heard back from them. I saw my dog nearly get killed my dog much larger than her, as I did anything I could to get her away from him. Now leaving me with mild flashbacks and a fear of being outside alone, or hearing a dog whimper or growl.
But I'm okay. I've been doing a lot better. For you who deal with being dissociated, I want you to know that it does get better; it just takes a lot. It takes a lot to tell yourself you can face it, tell yourself you can get better. But it doesn't make it impossible. I honestly never thought I would get to where I am now, being happier with my life, having friends who I can count on and who make me laugh everyday, having a reason to push myself, my calling towards music and art.
Don't me wrong, it's not all butterflies and rainbows, there are some days where I feel sad, or angry, or just nothing at all. Some days, Ill look in the mirror questioning if the reflection is truly mine, or days when I can't remember what my friends look like. But I'll go to sleep knowing that those feelings aren't permanent, because its my decision to chose how I cope with my problems.
I can chose between groaning about every little inconvenience I face, and refuse to make an effort to change, or i can appreciate every little blessing and refuse to give up.
You can't choose to be happy, but you can choose your perspective.
With that being said, I hope I have helped someone. I don't intend on continuing this book. I might speak of the topic on social media in the future (if I can bring to expose myself to people who know me along with a bunch of strangers) so if you wanna hear more from me, you can find me there. Not trying to get followers by the way.
Have an amazing life
-Priscilla
YOU ARE READING
Detached, Destroyed, Dehumanized (Depersonalization/ Derealization)
Non-FictionI've come to notice that this is barely talked about. Most people don't even know this exists, yet half the population experiences it at least once in their life time. It's crazy right? I want to change that. I want to bring awareness to this. It c...
