"Are you just following me or what?" I ask him while we are walking away from the cabin.
"No I still want to talk to you."
"Listen whatever it is, I don't really want to talk, and I'm not pitying you for those cuts." I blurt out. I meant to keep the last part to myself.
He looks down at his hands then shoves them in his pockets.
"No. Lindsey just listen." He stares into my eyes.
I can't. I can't. I must not.
"Fine." I mumble.
We head to the park and sit on the swings, somewhere where rarely anybody goes anymore.
"I honestly don't remember much from what I did in the 8th grade but I'm sorry."
I remain silent, slowly swinging back and forth on the swing.
"And the scars, they aren't because of you."
I stop and look up at him. "Why'd you do it then?"
"After I moved. My dad was a different person and he started abusing me emotionally and I became depressed and that's also why I moved back here."
"You're living with your mom again aren't you?"
"Yeah." He replies quickly.
"Connor?"
"Yeah?"
We both continue to look down at our feet purposely not making eye contact.
"When was the last time you self harmed?"
"Night before camp, I kept telling myself camp will make things better and I can sort of start a new life here." He begins to explain. "I threw away all my blades."
"Oh."
"Yeah well it doesn't seem like camp is what I thought it would be."
And with that Connor left the swings and starts walking away.
I watch him until he turns the corner and starts heading towards the cabins.
I should talk to Morgan about this. She's a really great friend when it comes to problems like this.
Slowly I walk back to our cabin, when I enter I see Morgan and Noah sitting on the floor laughing while playing Jenga.
"Morg. I gotta talk to you." I say while standing by the door, holding it open with my foot.
"Hey you." Noah winks at me.
I give him a slight smile.
"Morgan come on."
"Hold on lemme pee real quick." She replies then jogs to the bathroom in the back of our cabin.
Noah stands up and walks towards me. He gently places his hands my shoulders.
"You don't look very happy."
I shake my head, "Well I'm not."
"Well whatever it is, you know you can talk to me." He whispers then wraps his arms around me in a tight hug. After a few moments of that he gives me a light kiss on the forehead.
We hear the toilet flush and he releases me, We can't let Morgan know about our "relationship" thing going on.
"Where do you wanna talk?" Morgan asks after she slides her flip flops on.
"Uhm let's just go down to the dock?"
"Sure."
"So how was Jenga with Noah?"
I ask, just trying to make a convo while we walk to the dock.
"He would not stop talking about you." She giggles.
"What?!" I giggle too. "What did he say?"
"Well he just kept droning on about you. Your laugh. Your eyes. Your personality. "
I stop walking, " Are you serious Morgan?"
She continues to walk and nods her head, "He must really like you."
I begin to blush uncontrollably and to hide it I dash to the lake, running as fast as I can.
Morgan gets to the dock a few seconds after I do, "What. *heavy breathing* was that for?!"
I was also panting, "Uhm I don't know... are my cheeks flushed?"
"Yeah they're pretty red." She replies. She was totally unaware of what I just did.
"So I finally talked to Connor."
"What did he say?"
"Sorry." I say. "He also explained why he did self harm."
Morgan lets out a loud gasp like sound, " He does self harm?!"
"Did." I reply.
"Anyways he said it's because of his dad and his depression."
"Woah. Did you think it was because of you?"
"Yeah. I'm glad it's not."
"Me too. I think what he needs right now is a friend though. Maybe we should introduce him to Noah?"
I think about that for second, "Yeah we could try..."
"Maybe you could befriend him too?" I ask Morgan.
"Yeah sure. Why not?"
"Thanks Morg."
"No problem Linds."
I give her a quick hug.
As we are walking back to the cabin, she turns to me with a giant smile on her face, "So how was the kiss?"
My jaw drops.
"He told you!?"
Morgan gasps, "So he wasn't lying?!"
I laugh and then say no.
"Yooooooooooo." She exclaims, "You've known him for like a day and a half."
"True. But from the moment I met him I felt something."
Morgan starts laughing at me.
"What!?" I ask.
"That's so cliché." She replies.
