NOVEMBERLAND: the little shieldmaiden

6

I had returned to my chambers with rage and sadness, I felt so alone at that moment. Technically I knew no-one here, I was all alone in a foreign kingdom. I began to realize how little people I had, my father was gone, my mother cared more about my siblings than me, and Tyr was far away. I had gotten a letter from him earlier, written in runes so only I could understand, he was travelling at sea. They were on their way to the settlements on the northern islands, called Nodroi. I did not feel like myself anymore, the dress, this room, the rules, it was not me. A tear ran down my cheek, and I wiped it away as I never liked to cry. I looked at my hand, the tear was gone, but another one dripped down in my palm. If this was my reality I was not having it, feeling humiliated by every man, and only looked on as a stupid creature. Why did I have to feel like this? This was supposed to be my adventure, my opportunity to do something, and it was nothing as I had imagined. 

I decided that I wanted to arrange a boat to return to Lynrike as soon as possible, there were no need of staying here. Nor could I create an alliance where the king that I would have to make it with was a rageful and sick bastard. I wiped of my tears, and washed my face in cold water, and left the room. There was no reason to wait, I had to get out of this place. I knew that a lord was going to travel to Lynrike soon, and I hoped to pursue him to let me join. Every maid, servant or noble I walked past was like a blur in the distance, I had no intention of staying, so I did not care anymore, I was fourth in line for any throne, and it would not matter. 
"Saga?" a voice said and broke the blur making me aware of everything around me.

"Viorica," I answered when I realized it was her, and when my eyes met mine it was like she was aware of everything. 

"Come," she said and grabbed my arm leading me to what I supposed was her chambers. Her hair was loose, and her dress was long and flowy, she had gotten ready for bed. She closed the door behind her and ordered her maids to leave. "What has happened child?"

At first, I could not get out a word, because it was like the words were lost and my breath had vanished, but I managed to get out a few words. "I'm all alone, and I upset everyone," I dropped out and gasped for breath.

"Oh, you're not alone," she then said and touched my shoulder gently.

"I am, I am so alone, I have no-one," I said and looked up at her beautiful being. She was so gorgeous, and her eyes were now filled with pity for me.

"You have me, just know that dear," she said and hugged me tightly, just like a mother would have, just like father did. Her hug was calming, and she held me even though I let go, and I did not complain. "And what do you mean about that you upset everyone?"

She let me go but still held my hands making me look into her eyes. "Every time I get to know someone I manage to mess it up, or they leave me. I mess up everything."

"Is this about Gryffin?" she asked out of the blue. Her eyebrows made her look curious, and it was if she knew something I did not.

"He's-" I said, and took a deep breath and continued. "He's a part of it," I said and held my breath, as it was something I had to keep inside of me.

"In what way is he a part of this? I've seen the way how you act if he enters a room, and how he looks at you when you don't look. What part does he take?"

What did she mean by how I act, and how he looks at me when I don't look? The only way I changed when he entered a room, was that I wanted to leave as he entered. "What?" was the only thing I managed to say.

"Don't say there's nothing there child, I've been a young girl myself," she responded and let go of my hands. "But what part does he take in this?"