oh, my legs ache,
i can hardly do anything but lay down and feel it
you're growing,
big and strong like your brother.
big and strong like me.
then why does it hurt so much?
like something is gnawing on my bones,
ignoring my flesh as if it didn't exist.
i don't feel any bigger,
i think i'm shrinking,
this thing eating me away,
one inch at a time.
i am bigger now, i think,
i hope, though there are times i am doubtful
and my legs have lost the ache that plagued my youth,
but there is still a grieving in me.
who died and made you grieve this way?
the death of my brother,
the death of my mother,
the death of me,
our legs lost its hurt
and we lost what made us alive.
those same legs that carried me,
small and fast like a gurgling stream,
up big trees and down grassy hills,
they hurt because they loved me.
they hurt because they loved the world.
they hurt because the world and i loved them back, sometimes too much,
sometimes like fire.
but now they sit useless and still.
big and strong and for what?
there are no trees to climb, no grassy hills,
no hurt to feel.
my legs and i are still like rotten water.
