Drak The Halls

Drakken's Plan

Meanwhile, in his evil lair, Dr. Drakken and Shego were stewing and plotting their next big scheme. Drakken looked out a window, staring out at the happy, cheerful people playing in the snow. Whereas, Shego was reading another one of her many magazines whilst listening to sultry pop music on her MP3 player. All of the jolly, festive Christmas decorations around town, not to mention the joyous carolers going roundabout singing their merry tunes, were enough to make Drakken's skin crawl. He was a regular Grinch. 

"Ugh, Christmas," he grumbled. "Don't you hate it, Shego?"

Shego, seeing that Drakken was looking at her, took off her earphones and said, "Oh, I guess you were talking to me just now?"

"What is it about Christmas that makes everyone so giddy and glittery and repulsive? I swear, it's like people can be complete jerks to each other one day. Then on Christmas, they'll put that aside and start being nice. But after Christmas, they go right back to being jerks again! What's that about?"

Shego put down her magazine and stood up.

"Well, Dr. D," she began. "Those people believe that if they're good and nice on Christmas, then Santa Claus comes down their chimneys and brings them gifts and goodies under their Christmas tree."

"Oh, God!" Drakken uttered. "Please tell me you don't honestly believe that garbage, Shego!"

"Of course not! I'm not an idiot."

"Good. And neither am I."

"Well...."

"Which is why I've come up with an entirely new scheme. A scheme just befitting of the holiday season."

"Let me guess. You're gonna steal Christmas?"

"Even better. I'm gonna steal the spirit of Christmas!"

"And how do you plan to go about doing that, Your Enormously Ridiculousness?"

"Simple. By kidnapping Santa Claus."

"Um, excuse me?"

"What? It's a good plan."

"Oh, yeah. It is! Except for one teeny-tiny little flaw."

"What's that?"

"HE'S NOT REAL!!!"

Drakken stuck a finger in his ear to rub out the ringing in his eardrum from Shego's scream and said, "To some, yes. But to evil geniuses such as myself, he is as real and plain as the scar on my face."

"I thought you just said you didn't believe in Santa Claus," said Shego.

"No, you should've let me clarify. I don't believe Santa can possibly deliver gifts to good people all over the world when he's too busy preoccupying shopping malls and toy stores."

"Ugh! I give up!" Shego yelled, picking up her magazine and putting her earphones back in.

"I mean, think logically, Shego! Santa is just one man! Do you honestly believe that he can take pictures with children just a few short days before Christmas? The man's schedule's gotta be tighter than a woman's pantyhose! Somebody's gotta tell him that it's okay to say'no' every once in a while!"

Drakken kept on ranting and raving long after Shego had stopped listening to him. With the plan set in place, all that was left to do was develop a strategy on how to carry it out. But unfortunately, Drakken didn't have much time before Christmas to do so.