Until I See You Again ... (A CanEm Story)

Karar

I don't know how it happened but Can is here with me, in my house, on my settee, our legs and shoulders touching every time we breathe.

I remember I told him that I really wanted to work with him on his book.

I wanted to be the voice to his gaze. He would be the eyes to my words.

He was surprised though. He never thought for one moment that I would accept to write for him. He thought I would never accept because it would mean being in the same room as him, spending countless hours with him, throwing ideas back and forth, arguing and laughing together again.

Well ... The truth is ... I had missed him. I had missed the whole of him. I had missed his sarcastic repartee. I had missed his brilliant mind and his extensive knowledge. I had missed his laughter that would carve out dimples underneath his beard and around his eyes. I had missed him so much that it tugged at my heart.

I'm sighing heavily, my head tilting down under the weight of my memories of him, of us. I am nostalgic of better days when there was an "us"; when I was the centre of his universe and he was the centre of mine. I'm sighing again, louder this time and he turns his face towards me, a smile lurking on his lips. I smile back naturally. It is impossible to resist him. My head is full of a combination of the deep timber of his voice and the sensual notes of his perfume. I am feeling giddy and I like it.

"Sanem? Sanem? Sanem?!"

"Huh?!"

"Are you even listening to me?"

"No, I'm sorry Can. I was ... I was lost into my thoughts ... I'm sorry. Long day I guess ..." and I shrug apologetically.

"Was I ..."

"Was I in those thoughts of yours", he asks with a cheeky smile at the corner of his mouth.

"Ya ... Can! You should be ashamed of yourself!" As I hit his thigh with the flat of my hand, I can hear Ivy is screaming "YES! YES! YES!" in the background of my mind.

"Come on Sanem, it was only a joke ... but still I need your attention because I would really like to complete that chapter tonight, okay?"

"Okay! Okay! Carry on then ..."

He starts talking again and it is all it takes to transport me to another dimension in which everything slows down, his eyes shine brighter, his handsome features glowing. Everything blurs around the edges of his bulky figure. Hours, minutes and seconds are no more. He's my metronome, my timer, my chronometer, forcing my whole being to pulse and beat according to his tune.

"Sanem? Sanem? Sanem?"

"I guess we should call it a night because I've lost you again Erkenci Kuş ..."

He closes the laptop in front of him and pushes on his hands to stand up. He is going around the coffee table when I hear myself offering him one last glass of çay. I curse at Ivy! The little witch! She is taking advantage of my fatigue to make me speak her desires through my voice, knowing full well that the man cannot say no to çay. Especially the one prepared and brewed by my hands.

I start to mumble under my breath, throwing my arms up and down in anger. I freeze as I catch him staring at me with a bewildered look on his face, his brows knitted and his forehead creased. All of a sudden enlightenment takes over his confused features.

"Ah! Your inner voice is causing you trouble again I see!"

I blush, not daring to look at him.

"Thank you so much for the offer but it's late and I better go home."

I just nod and follow him to the large glass door.