i want to love you, in all that comes next
C H A N Y E O L
My grip on Wendy's wrist was tight, for some reason I felt agitated. The way she ran up to me so easily, the way she kissed me because she needed it, it was all to her advantage and it was because I let her. I don't know where I got the courage, maybe it's because for the first time I didn't felt like she really did love me. It was all so clear, knowing how I have someone that actually does. Shit, Chaeyoung. I hope she didn't see what happened back in the hallway.
I pulled Wendy inside the drama club room, she looks frightened, I didn't care. I loosened the necktie of my uniform and looked at her straight in the eye.
"Yeol, you're scaring me," Wendy said as she rubbed her forearms.
"I want you to stay away from me," I breathed out.
"Yeol,"
"I can't do this to Chaeyoung," Wendy seems to be taken back by what I said but she didn't and stared at the floor, "I love her," I admitted.
"Then why did you keep fucking me every chance you get?" Wendy scoffed.
I couldn't tell her what exactly Chaeyoung and I have been doing, which resulted in her thinking that I've been cheating on Chaeyoung all this time. Chaeyoung knew something happened between me and Wendy in the past, she didn't know that I still continued it even when we were together. I only stopped seeing Wendy a week before Chaeyoung's birthday which was the time I realized my true feelings for her.
Wendy walked toward me as if she was daring me, arms crossed looking back at me, "If you really did love her, why can't you let me go?"
"Isn't that what I'm doing?"
Wendy then wrapped her arms around me, I felt her tears stuck to my shirt. I tried to get her hands off me but she held on tight.
"Wendy," I warned.
"You know how much you mean to me Chanyeol, please don't do this" She cried.
"I can't let you walk all over me, not anymore" I pressed, finally getting out of her hold.
"But you're willing to let Chaeyoung do it to you?"
I looked at her in question, she smirked. "You do know she's in love with Jaehyun right? That girl has been throwing herself at my boyfriend for years now. Don't tell me you haven't noticed."
"At least Chaeyoung had respect for herself, regardless of whatever she felt she didn't act upon it" I glared at her, "She's nothing like you."
Her hand cracks across my face, I couldn't blame her, I deserved it. I could only laugh as she threw little punches on my chest as she cried. I had control over myself, I was happy I said what I said. She rested her hands on my chest as she quietly sobbed, she finally looked up and her eyes were all red and tired.
"We both did it, don't act like you had nothing to do with it." She snapped, "We're both monsters"
She pushed me and ran out. I leaned on the table as I felt my body weakened. Looking back, I didn't know why I did it. I didn't view my relationship with Chaeyoung real, truthfully I didn't feel any ounce of guilt back then. But Wendy was right, I was a monster. Even if I loved her, I still went behind her back, I still lied to her and she didn't deserve that.
What have I done?
C H A E Y O U N G
"I liked you," I confessed, "For three years now, we've been friends since we were young and I somehow came to like you because you were really nice to me"
