we had a good run, darling, don't you cry
C H A E Y O U N G
Two years. Two years of ignoring each other out in the halls, two years trying to mask whatever I felt for him, two years pretending as if nothing happened. It hurts me still, but not as much as it did back then. I could still tell what was new with him, haircut, the way he dressed for the day if he had any sleep. I realized how invested I was just by the process alone, who could blame me? Chanyeol was the center of my life for a year and a half. Some say I may be stupid for liking him still, for keeping tabs on him even if it was just the little things. But it's only like an impulse just when I see him in the hallways.
Little by little I got used to not having him around, at some point, my parents still ask me about him. Especially my older brother Henry, I kind of find it funny because Chanyeol was the only person to keep up with him. I wanted to tell them what really happened between us, but then I feared what they view of me after. My parents aren't overbearing but the topic of "Hey mom and dad, we were just fuck buddies" doesn't roll off the tongue so easily either. But in time I got over missing him so much, but then I was easily rolled back to where I was two years ago with just a smile from him. That damn irresistible smile.
"Hey!" Jaehyun came running towards me after the commencement ceremony.
"Hey," I smiled back.
Jaehyun and I kept being friends, closer actually. My romantic feelings for him went away the moment I decided to be honest with him, it was the only time I ever felt so free. And it taught me not to keep it all in. He and Wendy broke up days after Chanyeol and I did. He never pursued me romantically and I intended to keep it that way. Surprisingly I can tell him everything now, including some of my thoughts about Chanyeol. He was very supportive of me and was very much willing to give me a shoulder to lean on. I tried to set him up with someone else but he didn't want to be in a relationship, just like me. It was an ongoing joke between us that we were on some kind of "cleanse". But despite everything I'm just glad I'm not alone. I guess I just have a constant fear of being one.
"I wanted to personally congratulate you, I guess acing Davino's class will really get you far huh?" He said looking at the medals around my neck.
"Thank you," I giggled, "And congrats on you too, those late nights stressing over nothing really paid off"
"Hey. I wouldn't have done it without you shouting in my ear through the phone." He joke, I slapped him on the shoulder and laughed with him.
"You needed it, I thought you were having a break down"
"I was!" He laughed even harder. I was genuinely happy for him, he seems more light now like a weight had been lifted over his shoulder.
I looked around as he told me a story about his plans after graduation and spotted him. He was dressed in a suit underneath an open toga, he bagged a few medals as well. He was looking over to where we were and looked away when I caught him. I wanted to come over and congratulate him, but my legs won't let me.
"Chae" Jaehyun tapped my shoulder, I faced him and awkwardly laughed.
"Sorry,"
He looked over to where I was previously looking and had a knowing expression on his face. He stepped over and blocked him from my sight, "So are you going to the after-party?"
"Not sure, my flight for London is at 8 am tomorrow."
"C'mon it will be the last! At least think about it?" Jaehyun pleaded with his hands, I unwillingly nodded after he reached his desperate point and pouted at me.
