luckless

- xiii -

Paul could play. I gave him that. In fact, Paul was literally the best person I had ever been with. Better than any one time thing, better than the few repeat guys, and a million times better than Andy ever was. Although I could only judge Andy on kisses. We'd never done more than that.

I was laying in Paul's large bed now, loose sheets barely covering my exposed body. Paul was splayed on his stomach next to me, snoring softly. On warm arm was haphazardly thrown across me, his hand cupping one of my breasts. I didn't mind. Normally, I would have gotten up and left by now. But something made me stay in Paul's cozy room. Some supernatural pull.

My fingers rose to my neck, tracing it. Paul hadn't been kind to it. But damn had it felt good. I shivered as I remembered. In the throes of hours of passion, Paul had let his head drop to the region between my neck and shoulder. His lips had kissed my skin for a moment before he let his teeth nip at the skin. Then he had let his teeth sink into my flesh. I didn't know why. I had thought the sensation would hurt like hell, but it didn't. Instead, a coil of relentless heat washed over me. It was more pleasurable than anything I had ever felt before. Something told me I could never recreate that, even if I tried. I didn't think it was something as simple as a mere climax. Instinct told me it was more than that. It had changed my DNA, a slight shift in my genetic code. I'm not sure how I know that. Maybe that was the reason I was completely content with staying here.

My mind flipped the memory away and I drew my hand from the bite mark. The rest of the damage were just dark hickeys and love bites. Paul was extremely inclined to use his mouth, I had noticed. Excitement awoke in me at the thought of future times. Future times? Was I already expecting to make this a repeat thing? I knew I didn't want a relationship. Not for awhile. I still couldn't help but associate a relationship with betrayal and heartbreak. I'd be better off without the commitment. But friends with benefits could work, right?

I must not have heard the car door. Or the front door. The hallway outside the room creaked with footsteps, accompanied by a voice.

"Paul? You here?" Shit. It was Jared. Just my fucking luck. I pushed Paul's arm of me, shaking him in an attempt to wake the slumbering form beside me. He groaned, complaining. I grabbed at the sheets, covering myself. There was so sense trying to run now. Jared was right outside the doorway.

He stopped at the open door, his eyebrows shooting up so far they must've hit the moon. His jaw dropped slightly. Paul sat up halfway. His back muscles tensed as he heard Jared speak again. Slowly, he pivoted on the bed.

"What. The. Fuck?" Jared didn't sound mad. I was confused. He sounded...impressed? Amused, even. And, happy? What?

I groaned, letting myself fall back on the bed. I clapped my hands over my eyes. I missed any sort of silent exchange between Jared and Paul.

"That was quick." Jared voice was definitely amused now. I reopened my eyes. Slowly, I sat back up. I let the sheet drop more, holding it with one hand to protect my decency. I ran the other hand through my wild hair. Jared was still looking at Paul. He turned to me, his eyes flicking to the large mark on my shoulder. The smirk dropped from his face. This time, I couldn't place his emotion. Something passed between Jared and Paul. Tension I couldn't find the reason for.

"Get dressed, Kat. Mom wants to go out for dinner." I nodded, not meeting his gaze. This was the first time I was talking to him in person since January, and he had found me like this. At least I was still too happy to be angry at him. As he retreated, I sighed heavily.

I retrieved my forgotten garments from the ground. I couldn't find my tank top, so Paul let me borrow a faded T-shirt. The worn material smelled like him; pine and his own special smell.

Before I left the room, Paul caught me with one arm. He stopped me close enough to him that I could see the flecks of gold in his brown eyes. I forgot to blink as I counted each glint. His free hand cupped my face, tilting it back slightly. He captured my swollen lips in his. I hadn't been expecting it, but I was eager to return the affection. Something within me wanted to bend over backwards and make him feel everything good all at once. I leaned into him, unable to survive without the touch of his fiery skin.

Our kiss lasted longer than either of us intended. We were interrupted by a cough from Jared. He was leaning against the hallway outside, watching us with a disinterested look. I pulled away, my cheeks flushing.

I left Paul standing shirtless in his room. I tried to ignore the burn of his gaze on my back. My body screamed at my brain to turn around and go back to him. What was making this sudden attraction happen? I couldn't believe it was just hidden feelings.

I trailed behind my brother as we exited the house. His car was parked on an angle to Paul's. Jared was quiet until we got on the road.

"Soulmates do exist, you know." That came out of nowhere. His words were low and guarded.

"What?"

"I know you think you're not meant for love, but you are. I promise."

"What are you trying to say?" I screwed my eyebrows together, glaring at him through narrowed eyes. He only sighed in response.

"What I mean is just don't fuck things up. Don't lead Paul on, ok? We've all been waiting for this for awhile. We just never expected he'd move so fast."

"So you were counting on us hooking up then? Completely expected it and everyone? I'll bet you even placed money on when." He didn't meet my stone gaze, confirming my suspicions. I threw my hands in the air. "You're unbelievable, Jared."

"You can't just get together with my best friend and not expect me to make a big deal about it! Especially when you haven't been home for months. You haven't seen or talked to Paul and all the sudden you come home and decide it's the perfect time to screw him. Like I said, don't mess with him Kat. You don't understand." He attempted to defend himself. I scoffed.

"Mess with him how? Like today is going to be anything more than a one-time thing?" Jared's eyes bore into me.

"That kiss said otherwise." Now it was my turn to avoid his gaze. "We're almost eighteen, Kat. It's time you stopped playing these games with yourself. You play with others then get offended when they treat you the same. You can't go around partying and having one-night stands for the rest of your life. It's time to realize that you're better than this and that you deserve to care for others, and be given love in return. Stop throwing your walls up the second anyone gets close. Let someone in, just once. If it's Paul, then fine. If not..." He trailed off. I still didn't look at him.

"I did let someone in. But ya wanna know what happened? He stabbed a dagger into the exposed places of my heart. I don't care anymore if you were the direct cause of it or not, I just want you to know that I'm afraid every single person is going to do that to me now. And it's true, isn't it? No one's ever happy in the end. Only in fairytales."

Jared looked at me with pity. I hated the feeling. I squirmed in my seat, cursing the confines of the car. Jared and I didn't talk until we reached the diner.

What a wonderful welcoming home this was, Jared judging me like I had never left. I knew he was right. I shouldn't lead Paul on. What entailed leading someone on? I wasn't sure I knew. It wouldn't be a problem if I didn't approach him again, right? At least not in the way I had earlier. Not with a kiss that held enough fire to melt Antarctica. It had been a one-time event, nothing more and nothing less than any of the others I had had. Things were safer that way. It felt wrong in my heart, but right in my head. Don't listen to your heart, Kat. It's always wrong.

Like I said, everyone got hurt in the end. I was no different. I was content to live a life where I didn't let anyone in. The less chances of being hurt the better. Let the ice queen build her walls tall and thick. May they never be penetrated by lesser folk.

===

A/N

Bite? Hmmmmm

Vote and comment please, it would mean a lot.