Memoir of Xayah - The lost sparrow and the lonley fox

[10], [11], [12]

[10] She had to summarize what happened; it was the only way to not think about the pain. She had waited for her savior, but after some hours no one had come. And she had to cope with the trickle on her broken bone.

She had tried to stand up, but the dizziness and a twinge of pain were the signals that she was still too weak.

She had to eat something; water was not enough to gain back energies.

She took a breath and she thought about the last events. In a few words, she had to face an idiot who had the brilliant idea to become omnipotent. She hoped that the monks had gotten rid of him, erasing him from the world.

Men like him were the worst, the ones ready to step on everything on their path. If there were less of them, Ionia would have been a better place.

It was cold comfort, but she would have never seen him and his fellows again, even if she was left with a sour taste: the witch had the answer to her question, but Zakai had interrupted her. She was very close to the truth, but she felt down the cliff. And now she had to climb it again.

She had to go back to her. There were no other options. Her instinct was telling her that the witch wanted to help, but she did not know her reasons. And that black spot worried her: she had seen how she was able to manipulate people, and she did not want to become her puppet.

She could deceive her. She knew that, but she was the only one able to lead her to her tribe.

She felt another twinge of pain on her forearm, heightened by her feelings. She still remembered that day when she had lost everything.

She was the last of a tribe vanished without any trace, and it was all her fault.

She had been naive. She had believed that an alliance with humans would have helped her people. Her father had warned her about their greed and egoism, but she had thought they were only prejudices.

She had never been so wrong.

After she had tasted their true nature, she had gone back to apologize to her father for all the bad words she had said before. But he was not there, like all the other Lhotlan. They had disappeared because dark magic had corrupted a temple and they did not come back after she had eliminated it.

At first, she had believed that they were punished for her treason, that her naivety had brought ruin. Now she was able to think clearly and knew the two events were not related, but she still felt guilty.

And until that moment she had done nothing right, she was only capable of being rescued by others.

She held back her rage tears and tried to lean down. She closed her eyes and hoped to get some rest, but the pain came back, pulsing on the improvised splints.

She deserved that broken arm; it was her punishment for her foolishness. She did not have to complain. She had to suffer until the pain would have gone away.

[11] Two days, had passed and she had seen any living being. Or at least she thought that two days had passed. She had not slept much and had calculated time looking at the piece of sky visible from the top of the cave.

And in solitude, the clouds looked pinned to the sky.

There was someone; she was not wrong. Every time she woke up, she found two bowls, one full of water and the other of wild berries. She had also heard sounds coming from the lair nearby, but when she went inside, she had found an empty couch. Colourful and folded dresses surrounded it. There was also a piece of glass as a mirror, with an ivory comb under it.

But they were only objects, not living creatures.

The pain and every single misleading noise were driving her crazy. She had never wanted to talk to someone as at that moment. She had to do something to distract herself from the wound. She did not dare to go outside. She would have been powerless in front of an enemy.

She also had not to forget about the soul-eating monster, even if it was a rumor.

Remembering that presence made her shiver. She was alone, unable to fight and inside a cave, if that thing would have found her, it was over.

She shacked her ears, trying to detect every small sound. She heard only the lapping water and some drops falling on the ground. There was no doubt; no one was inside that cave at that moment. Solitude gripped her, holding her body with a cold stranglehold of fear.

Alone and powerless, anyone could take advantage of her.

« Is someone here? » asked.

The answer was silence, as always.

« Am I really alone?! »

She raised her voice, and the question came back, echoing between the walls.

She swore, also to mitigate her pain. It was not normal. She already had a fracture and did not have to suffer that much. Furthermore, the skin of the forearm was becoming purple, as her darkest feathers.

She was worried, it was obvious, but without her savior, she could not ask information about her healing process.

She took a radical decision, sick of her growing anxiety.

She stood up carefully and held her blanket, kindly offered to her. She also picked the mat, and after she bit her lips for the pain, she moved her legs. She dragged her couch, careful to stumble on a rock until she reached the lair of her savior. She left the objects near a corner and slowly sat down on them. She took a deep breath and decided to wait. Now she was sure she would have seen them.

[12] She was unlucky, or someone had decided to punish her again. Since she had changed her spot, she had not heard any suspicious noise. The water and the food had disappeared, forcing her to drink directly from the pool, trying to stand the pain. To eat something, she risked to go out and looked for some edible roots.

Her savior vanished like her tribe. Maybe they had decided to heal her until she was able to stand on her feet, but if it was true, the objects inside the cave made no sense. Maybe they were attacked by some dark entities, and now she had to rely on her strength as always.

And even if it was not darkness fault, someone could have assault they and she had to find a solution to her problem. Someone had to check her forearm, but she had no idea where she could find Vastayan villages in that region. She had to wander inside the forest and pray that a kind soul would have found her. Furthermore, she had to rely on her stealthiness because she was not able to attack. She was not allowed to encounter anyone or anything but Vastaya. Maybe she could try to throw her feathers with her left hand, but pain could have distracted her and made her aim even worse.

It was not a good plan, it was too risky, but she had no other choice. She would have waited for her savior for two days after she would have hit the road.