These Four Walls -Niam-

part 4

the heart breaking thruth is that this story will end within the next few chapters! DUN DUN DUN!!!! anyways sorry for the short update i will probably be updating later tonight/early tomorrow so watch this space....

Theaxx

PS- bed side table picture on side/top (obviously the one in the frame in the book insn't a gif) 

PPS- LOADS AND LOADS AND HEAPS OF THANKS TO THE UBER SUPER LOVLEY LOVE669 I <3 YOU! (can i get that printed on a t-shirt?) 

I lay in bed

Can't seem to leave your side

Your pillow's wet

From all these tears I've cried

I won't say goodbye

Niall POV

Five days. Five days since I’ve eaten. Five days of cutting. Five days of wishing. Five days of not feeling whole. Five days since Liam left, for what I can only assume is for good. I wasn’t perfect enough. I wasn’t good enough for my Lili. All I’ve done the past five days is sit on the couch and wait. I stopped making Liam food, partially because I knew he wasn’t coming home and partially because we had run out of edible food. The flat was also really cold and dark because our energy bill was due two days back but Liam wasn’t here to pay and I don’t work.

At the moment I was in two of Liam’s jumpers with the sleeves rolled up nursing my cuts. Perching awkwardly on the edge of me and Liam’s bed I grabbed the photo frame from his bed side tale. It was a picture of me and Liam. We were in Hawaii for our first year ‘anniversary’ anyways, we were surfing in this indoor place cuz Liam diddnt want me to get taken away by a 'freak wave'. It was before Liam met Danielle and I remember that night perfectly. We went down to the beach at sunset and walked along the wet sand, you know the bit of sand where your feet get wet but you’re not in danger of getting taken down my a wave.  Moving on, we walked for a bit and then Liam got down on one knee and I thought that he was proposing at first but then he started saying how he promised to always be there, how I would always be perfect to him, how he loved me so much it hurt and how he wanted to marry me one day.  He then put the ring on my middle finger and sealed his promise with a kiss. It was a promise ring. It was meant to symbolize an eternal promise. He broke that promise. By this point I was sobbing clutching the picture to my chest. I needed Liam, even if he didn’t need me.

Crawling under the covers I made my way to Liam’s side. Clutching his pillow to my chest I continued to let sobs wrack my body. After my sob session I put Liam’s, now damp, pillow under my head and fell into a light sleep, his sent lulling me into a peaceful state I hadn’t felt in so long. I can’t let Liam go. I won’t let Liam go. I won’t say goodbye.