🦋☁️Bulimia☁️🦋

HOspITalNiGHts🤒🎀

I didn't want Jungkook to see me like this so I ignored his text and laid down on my side in my bed.

I closed my eyes and fell asleep feeling restless.

***

My eyes were open and they scanned the dark room. I tried moving my body but it wouldn't move, out of  nowhere I felt a heavy pressing on my chest, I knew this was the end of it all. It got harder and harder to breathe, My chest started burning and my vision started to blur.

I tried yelling for help.

I tried moving but my body wouldn't budge. Then suddenly everything went black, I couldn't see anything, everything went pitch black.

"Tae!"

I turned around to find the sound of a familiar voice, begging for help and yelling my name.

As I turned around I saw myself  being dragged away. I tried to run towards it but my body didn't allow me to move, so I screamed.

"Taehyung!, are you okay?, wake up!"

My eyes shot open I felt tears rushing down my face, I sat up feeling cold, my body was uncontrollably shaking and my vision was blurry.

When I eyes sight went clear again and I saw my mother hovering over me with a worried look painted on her face. "Ohh my poor baby, let's go, I'm taking you to the hospital." She said holding me by my face, as much as I wanted to argue I didn't , my body physically and mentally didn't feel good enough to.

****

I laid against the hospital bed. The doctors cold hands touched my stomach making me jump.

"Hmm, Mr Kim, May I ask you when the last time you ate." The doctor asked looking concerned.

"Uhh(I look at my mom who looked just as about concerned as the doctor) last night"  I said not telling him that I gagged myself shortly after.

He picked up my hand and examined the teething bruise marks. "And did you digest it?"

I looked at my mother's concerned face "did you?" She asked eyes watering.

I wanted to answer but my words wouldn't form. "Are you starving yourself?"

The sentence made me feel sick to my stomach.

"No"

"Mr Kim, we just want to help you so I need you to be 100% truthful with us, I will ask you one more time, have you been starving yourself?." The doctor ask sounding as if he was desperate for the truth.

"Okay, yes" I said feeling ashamed. I looked at my mother who collapsed to the ground sobbing. My heart rate jumped up seeing her that way because of me, I hated it.

"Mommy don't cry please"

Flashback

"Tae bear, please go to your room while me and dad talk" my mom said holding her face. My dad was hovering over her with the most devilish face.

I ran to my room closing my ears with my small hands chubby hands. Muffled yells could be heard from the living room. "It's that's kids fault, he is the reason we can't be happy!" Dad yelled

"That kid is YOUR son, he is only 5 how could you talk about him like that?!" Mom yelled back

After 30 minutes the door swung open revealing my sobbing mom, she picked me up and grabbed the plastic black trash bags of our little items we had and dashed out the from door.

We sat in the rain at the bus stop waiting for it arrive, my mom still sobbing "mommy don't cry please"

Flashback over

"Tae bear! Why are you starving yourself?!, you can't be!, I watched you eat" she yelled grabbing my face softly.

"Well, judging by the bruises on his hand it looks as if he has been gagging whatever he has been eating up" The doctor said holding my hand up.

My mom snatched my hand out of the doctors hand and observed it. "Tae" she whimpered "you know you could've talk to me about this I'm always here for you" I looked down. My mom wrapped her arms around me making me calm down instantly.

The doctor left the room.

"Mom, please let me go to Jungkooks, he helps me eat and it's not like you don't I just-"

"Tae bear, I understand don't worry about it, your growing up and your not a baby. I have to let you make your own choices now. But please promise me you will eat, please"

"I promise" I said looking down.

The doctor walked back in making us look at him. " Your son has bulimia
an emotional disorder involving distortion of body image and an obsessive desire to lose weight, in which bouts of extreme overeating are followed by depression and self-induced vomiting, purging, or fasting."

***

The doctor gave me pills to take to help my body, he also told me to drink meal replacements which I will try.

My mom was now driving me to Jungkooks house. I was praying he would answer the door considering it being 4am.