Mistakes

A Teeny Bit of a Problem

TW: After Math of self-harm and shitty parents, and some mild bullying

Connor

Since my mom called me to come home I do. I assure Evan that everything is going to be okay and kiss his cheeks before leaving. I don't think everything's going to be okay though I don't think that good things could go on. When mom says "We need to talk." I start to panic as I drive myself back home wondering what could be in store. I open the door Mom and Larry are sitting at the table. I sit closest to mom. "Connor we need to talk," Mom mumbles.

"What's wrong Mom?" I ask hoping that nothing bad is going to happen.

"You have to leave," Larry says straight-faced, "Unless you decide to leave Melody-"

"It's Evan Larry." I cut him off, he gives me the death stare.

"Unless you and Melody decide to break up and she decides to get rid of the baby you can't live here Connor," Mom says her voice shaking through the sentence.

"Evan isn't going to get rid of the baby, I'm not going to break up with the man I've been in love with since kindergarten," I get up.

Mom starts to cry and Larry looks at me like I killed a man, "You are a stranger to this house Connor," Larry spits out at me, "Get your shit and leave," I nod and run upstairs packing everything I'd need for a few months out of the house as well as all of my books and art supplies. I run back downstairs and out of the house getting into my car and driving away. I start crying, I never thought that I would get kicked out for dating my best friend, and Mo- Cynthia's always wanted grandkids. I don't know where I'm driving. I pass by Evan's house going to the nearby apple orchard. I don't know what I'm doing anymore I just let my body take over as my mind gets disconnected from it. I stop in the car park getting out of the car than making my way to the far back of the orchard. I want to stop but my body won't listen to me as if it's controlling itself. When I wake up again it's late and my arms sting. I'm surrounded by the smell of apples and the ringing of my phone. It's Evan.

I think about answering then do, "Hello?" I raspily ask into the phone. My voice is shaky and it's obvious that I have been crying for a while.

I hear a loud sob, "Connie are you okay? Where are you? Zoe told me what happened. It's all my fault isn't it?" He sobs into the phone again.

I sit up and wince audibly, "No Evy it's not your fault. It's okay do you want me to come back over?" I groan as I stand up

He sniffs, "Where are you, you sound hurt," He mumbles trying to hold back more tears.

"I'm at the apple orchard, It's okay I have my car." I pull down my shirt sleeves wishing I has my hoodie with me.

"Come back quickly I'm sure my mom will let you stay here," He mumbles again doing what sounds like hiding his face in a pillow.

"I'll be right over and cuddle you, baby," I smile through my voice and make my way to the front of the orchard finding where I parked my car. I hang up the phone after mumbling I love you back and forth for a few minutes. I start the car and look at my arms, my sleeves are soaked in blood and my fingertips are too. How am I going to clean up before I get to Evan's house? I sigh and start driving to his house when I pull into the driveway I find a towel in my back seat and wipe off my fingers as best I can then change my shirt so at least it's not covered in my blood. I take a moment to look at the deep scratch marks on my skin and sigh, "I'm an idiot,"

I cover the wounds with my shirt and get out of my car grabbing the two backpacks I packed with me I knock on the front door and Heidi greets me with a smile and a welcoming hug. "You can stay here as long as you need," I smile trying not to cry and hug her back that being a mistake since the blood once again soaks through my newly clean shirt. She feels it and pulls back inspecting my arms. She sighs and drags me by the hand into their kitchen pointing at the table then going further into the small kitchen. I sit down and she comes back with a first aid kit cleaning up the open scratches on my forearms and wrapping them in bandages. When she's done I thank her quietly and go upstairs to Evan's room. You can see the light outline of him on the bed.

"Please leave me alone Mom. I don't think he's coming back," I put my bags down and close the door making my way over to him, "I scared him off,"

"You did no such thing, Evan," I poke his cheek as he turns and smiles at me, "You wouldn't have scared me off it would be too hard to," I smile and kiss his cheek. He smiles then notices the bloodstains on my shirt, his smile falters for a moment then drops he sits up and grabs my arms.

"What happened Connor," He asks pulling up the sleeve and kissing the bandages.

"I don't remember," I mutter out and sit next to him.

He holds my arms for a few more seconds and investigates my fingers noticing the blood and skin under my fingernails. "I'm sorry," He kisses my palm then hugs me.

"You don't need to apologise Evan. It's not your fault it's mine." I hold his face and kiss him gently, he wraps his arms around my neck and kisses back I hook my arms around his waist and hold him tight. He becomes almost like a liquid in my arms and I love the feeling of just sitting with him here. He smiles and snuggles my chest holding me best he can. I run a hand through his hair and kiss one of his ears. "How's your stomach feeling baby?" I ask as he starts to doze.

"Better, I'm not throwing up anymore and it was much better today than it has been in the last couple of months." I nod then pause.

"Wait a couple of months?" I ask he nods sheepishly, "You've known for a couple of months?" He shakes his head.

"I tried to convince myself that I was just sick when the morning sickness started. But I think that was a bad idea." He mumbles falling asleep in my arms. I lay back and hold him to my chest making it so he's laying on top of me.

*********

Evan

I wake up early on Connor's chest my stomach doesn't hurt this morning which is strange. I poke his cheek lightly and kiss his chin "School, wake up lazy butt," He groans and stretches out holding me with one arm at a time.

"Can't we just stay home and cuddle today?" He mumbles while kissing the top of my head.

"I already have a week missing off of school we're going in." I declare sitting up and bouncing slightly, "We can have the cider doughnuts for breakfast," I gasp and stand up looking for the Walmart bag which I find quickly. I one of the doughnut packages and sit on my floor eating one.

"Pretty boy get off the floor." He gets up and picks me up getting sugar on his shirt, "Let's get dressed yeah?" I nod and put down the doughnuts. He puts me back down and I change putting his hoodie back on. He puts on some clothes that he stuffed in his backpack and goes downstairs to ask my mom for help changing his bandages. I sigh and get my stuff together then go downstairs ready to leave. He's finishing getting his bandages changed and he wraps an arm around my waist. We make our way to school and go in. He walks behind me with his hands on my hips and his chin resting on top of my head.

As we pass by people I hear whispers, "Did you hear about Murphy and Hansen?"

"Apparently he got Hansen pregnant and got kicked out,"

"Did Hansen get rid of it?"

"No, I don't think so look at them,"

"Wow what a whore,"

"Evan Hansen is a slut isn't he?"

"Yeah, I would think so,"

Tears prick my eyes and Connor pulls me into the bathroom once he notices my expression. He sits me on the countertop and holds me and kisses my face as the tears start to fall, "Don't listen to them Evan it's just one stupid group of girls who are jealous that you're mine."

I pause a moment, "Why didn't you stop them," I mumble scooting away from his touch.

"We both know they wouldn't have stopped it would have just added fuel to the fire," He goes back to holding me.

"You mean it?" I mumble leaning in for a quick kiss.

"Of course I mean it, pretty boy," He mumbles kissing me back quickly, "I'm sorry I didn't say anything."

"It's okay Connie," I smile and the bell for first period rings. We make our way to our separate classes while the gossip gets spread further. This may be a teeny bit of a problem.