𝟏-𝟖𝟎𝟎-𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐕𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐂𝐈𝐎𝐔𝐒.

≫ SHUT UP ≪

warnings: self doubt, breakup angst

author's note: i wrote this at like 3 am so it's either going to make zero sense, or be super deep and contemplative but enjoy :)

word count: 1,550

≫≪

To say Loki Laufeyson was a villain at some point in his life would be hard. The raven-haired god really just wanted to please his family, and to grow out of the shadow of his older brother.

His only wish to simply be loved was taken advantage of by other people.

For example, Thanos' mind stone-induced control over Loki. After New York occurred and Thanos' control was cut off, Loki was left scarred with plenty of horror stories to share. He scarcely mentioned these events to the Avengers, even once he became a part of the team. It took months to get him to open up, but they soon learned the truth of Thanos' previous influence over him.

The Avengers had learned that when those momentous events happened, he saw it all happen. Loki didn't meant to get so deep into his own desires, but soon everything had got out of hand. The god had to watch, a prisoner in his own body, as it did terrible things without his mind's consent.

The way Loki had described the experience was like being trapped underwater. His silver tongue truly spoke in a way that, when he told the team, all were left with aching hearts.

He was assuming it would be a peaceful swim where he would emerge, having successfully and easily quenched his need for acceptance. But soon, he was pulled further and further underneath the water by unexpected tides. Loki said it was as if he was sinking down quickly, and unable to stop. At this point in the mind control Loki had gotten himself swept up in, there was no escaping. He just let the waves overtake him with no other solution available.

It was at this point that you fell in love with him just a little bit more.

Your heart ached for Loki; desperately wanting to comfort him and shower the god with adoration and kisses to make up for what he had gone through. And his looks were a nice plus. Loki's luscious, raven black hair that bounced around his shoulders perfectly complemented his deep green eyes. He was fairly well built, even though he wasn't as active as his colleagues and relied on his magic for most physical fighting. You could still tell his muscles were well built up naturally— just from being a god. He always made the smart, intuned-to-fashion decision to wear green clothes that echoed his emerald eyes, making them sparkle and shine gorgeously.

But your favorite thing about Loki, above all of his amazing physical features and personality traits, was the the fact that he was your boyfriend.

Long story short, when Loki had asked you with nerves and hope weaved through his voice if you wanted to be his girlfriend, you jumped and squealed like a little child on Christmas morning. You had never been happier, and, of course, went straight ahead to comforting Loki about his past actions like you always hoped to. He constantly carried guilt on his conscious, and you could take it just as much as a person with the entire world on their shoulders could.

Basically, not at all. Whenever Loki started to get down on himself, his guilt complex peeping through his generally happy personality, you shut it down quickly.

Usually, an uncountable number of kisses, kind and loving words, and a good book would be enough to distract Loki from the detrimental thoughts that plagued him. But this time, they just weren't helping.