𝟏-𝟖𝟎𝟎-𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐕𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐂𝐈𝐎𝐔𝐒.

≫ HIM ≪

warnings: angst, panic attacks, some PTSD

author's note: everyone say thanks may for inspiring me to hurt bucky

word count: 1,068

≫≪

You sat on the large couch in the main sitting area in the Avengers Complex. You, wielding powerful telekinesis skills, could tear down buildings with a single thought. You could send cars flying with a wave of your hand. And still, you found yourself using your powers for simple, everyday things more often then you actually used them for avenging.

You currently held a box of popcorn aloft in the air with only your mind as you flipped through channels on the huge TV in front of you. Right now, you didn't have a care in the world, other than the brief thought that came up, reminding you that today Steve had planned to bring in an old friend of his.

As you watched the screen in front of you in mild interest, shoving popcorn hungrily in your mouth, you found yourself thinking about whoever Steve's friend was.

For all you knew, all of Steve's so called "old friends" were literally old. They ranged from their 80's and 90's, but despite their age you had always found these men and women interesting to talk to. Veterans had the best stories to tell, in your opinion.

You enjoyed talking to them whenever you got the chance. Even at the parties Tony would host, you found yourself more drawn to those kind men and women who fought for their freedom all those years ago, than to the slightly creepy, younger people who payed no attention to you for anything other than your body and face.

It was only when Steve's beloved old friends started talking about their fighting with HYDRA that you started to despise their stories. You been with HYDRA for the majority of your life, having been taken prisoner as a child.

It was there that you were tortured and forced into receiving your telekinetic powers. All your life, you had struggled with memories of the torture you had gone through. Not to mention the nightmares you experienced night after night. The pain might have faded, but you could never forget the face of the man who had done it all to you.

The Winter Soldier.

This was the moment when Steve walked into the large room, a smile on his face. He took in the sight of you staring at the TV with popcorn floating next to you, and was amused at catching you in what was definitely your natural habitat. His smile, however, dropped when he saw a familiar glimmer of fear in your eyes.

"Y/N?" He called out. Your head snapped in his direction, and you let out a breath that you had no idea you had been holding.

"Hey, Cap," You responded, allowing a small smile to rest onto your features. Your thoughts of the dark life you had escaped were pushed away when you remembered what Steve was supposed to be bringing. "Got anyone special here today?"

"I do, actually," he said, stepping further into the room. "Buck? Come on, I've got someone I want you to meet,"

And then he walked into the room.

You felt your entire body tense as Steve's old friend came to stand next to him. He had changed, sure, but there was no way you could forget those piercing blue-grey eyes that stared into yours while he had tortured you.

Your eyes widened and your breathing picked up simultaneously. You ran a shaking hand through your hair, feeling fear wash over you in a cold, icy wave.

"I-It's him," you muttered, now hyperventilating. Steve was utterly confused, and rushed to your side. "Y/N? What's wrong?"

Bucky followed suit, coming closer to you in some frazzled attempt to help Steve help you with your unexplained panic attack. You scrambled backwards on the couch, watching terrified as the Winter Soldier came closer.

"Him!" You screamed desperately, wishing Steve would just understand already.

"What?" he questioned, "Bucky? What's wrong with Bucky?"

Steve took you into his arms, desperately trying to calm you down. You screwed your eyes shut, crouching in as close to Steve's chest as possible, silently praying that he would keep you safe from the monster that previously haunted your dreams and now stood in front of you.

You quickly became oblivious to the world around you, the memories of your endless torture playing in front of your closed eyelids as you clenched Steve's shirt tighter than ever, trapped and whimpering, as your own mind betrayed you.

Steve shot Bucky a confused look, watching as he took a large step back, eyes widening. "I know her," He muttered.

"What?" Steve asked incredulously. "She—" Bucky cut himself off, running his metal hand through his long hair in distress.

"Please, Buck, come on. She's one of my best friends. How do you know her?"

"She was one of the people that... I-I tortured her," He said finally, barely able to get the words out. Now it was the time for Steve's eyes to widen; all the pieces clicking together.

"Hold on- you did what exactly?" Steve asked him, still not believing what he had just heard.

"I recognize her now. That girl was one of the enhanced that I  had to..." Bucky trailed off, his words fading as he was washed over by guilt, unable to take his eyes off the shaking girl Steve held in his arms.

He had been so excited to stay at the Complex, and incredibly glad that Tony had forgiven him. Not to mention that the rest of the Avengers came to a compromise with the Sokovian Accords, allowing him to meet all of them without any hatred involved because of what he had caused.

But now, yet another person feared him for what he used to be, and he had no idea how to fix that.

"Buck. Bucky, hey," Steve said firmly, a glint of determination in his eye. "She's been my best friend since I came out of the ice and you were my best friend when I first plunged into it. We're going to fix this. Y/N is stronger than she thinks, she'll get over this, I promise."

Bucky nodded, deciding to try his best to trust Steve despite the doubt embedded deep into his soul. He decided it was best to leave, and walked out of the room, hoping that the wounds he had given the girl could be forgiven and maybe, maybe, they would both find peace.

≫≪

"to close your eyes will not ease another's pain."

- chinese proverb