Forbidden

14

I open my eyes and my vision is blurred. I blink a few times to get them into focus. The sunlight peaks threw the crack of the window shade, illuminating the room. Joe is gone, but I didn't need to see that to know. I could already feel his absence.

After rolling out of bed, I throw on a sweatshirt over my pajama shirt before going out into the living room. My dad and Jim are sitting on the couch, drinking coffee.

My dad smiles at me when he sees me enter.

"Hi hon." He says.

"Morning dad." I say and then look towards Jim, "morning."

"Hey Ellie." Jim replies.

"Where are the boys?" I ask.

"Nick went for a run, and Joe is out in the gazebo." Jim says.

I nod, looking towards the window.

"They are both really nice. Joe seems to really care about you." My dad says.

I raise an eyebrow, "Yeah?" I say.

"He talks about you a lot." Jim agrees.

"Oh well he's..." I start but I stop. I'm pretty sure my dad knows about Joe and Amy, but I decide not to say it. Because what is going on between the two of them anyway?

"He's great." I say instead.

"You should bring him a cup of coffee." My dad says.

"Yeah, maybe I will." I say, heading to the kitchen.

I grab a mug from the shelf. It has flowers on it, and it looks hand painted. I look at the bottom of it and Sam signed it. She always used to love painting and she was good at it. Except she never painted on canvases or stuff like that. She would paint on mugs, vases, and stuff like that.

I bite my lip, not allowing any tears to come out as I grab the steaming pot of fresh coffee and pour it into the cup.

Joe is seated on the picnic table that rests in the middle of the gazebo. His elbows are placed on top of the finished wood, and he's staring off into the distance.

I clear my throat as I approach so I don't frighten him. His eyes meet mine as I set the coffee in front of him, taking a seat across from him.

"Hey. Thank you." He says, sliding the mug closer to him.

"My dad's suggestion." I say with a laugh.

"He's cool." He says.

"Well that's not usual the first word I think of for him but whatever you say."

He laughs before taking a sip of his drink. I watch him lick his lips after and I have to look away, the heat suddenly rising around me. He looks even more attractive today, if that's possible.

"Have you talked to Amy?" He asks.

I wasn't prepared for this question, so I take a moment before answering.

"She texted me her condolences, but I haven't replied." I admit. I'm not sure why I haven't. Out of guilt maybe?

"I can't believe she hasn't come here to see you."

I shrug, "She's..."

"If you say busy..." he says, shaking his head, clearly annoyed by her.

"Sorry... I'm just used to it."

"You are never too busy to be there for someone." He says.

"Don't let this cloud your judgment of her." I say.