The Oncoming Storm ²

The Doctors Wife pt.2

"How did you know about the boxes? You said they'd make us angry. How did you know?" the Doctor asks Idris.

"Ah, it's my thieves."

"Who are you?"

"It's about time."

"I don't understand. Who are you?"

"Do you not know me? Just because they put me in here?" she gestures to herself.

"They said you were dangerous," the Doctor says.

"Not the cage, stupid. In here. They put me in here. I'm the. Oh, what do you call me? We travel. I go" she starts making the TARDIS sound.

"The TARDIS?" I ask.

"Time And Relative Dimension In Space. Yes, that's it. Names are funny. It's me. I'm the TARDIS."

"No, you're not. You're a bitey, mad lady. The TARDIS is up and downy stuff in a big blue box" the Doctor says walking away, Idris smiles at me.

"Yes, that's me. A Type Forty TARDIS. I was already a museum piece when you were both young, and the first time you both touched my console you said..."

"We said you were the most beautiful thing we had ever known" I say.

"And then you both stole me. And I stole you both."

"We borrowed you," the Doctor says.

"Borrowing implies the intention to return the thing that was taken. What makes you think I would ever give you both back?"

"You're the TARDIS?" I say.

"Yes."

"Our TARDIS?"

"My Seer. Oh. We have now reached the point in the conversation where you open the lock" I sonic open the cage.

"Are all people like this?" Idris asks standing face to face with me.

"Like what?"

"So much bigger on the inside. I'm, oh, what is that word? It's so big, so complicated. It's so sad" Idris says.

"But why? Why pull the living soul from a TARDIS and pop it in a tiny human head? What does it want you for?" the Doctor asks.

"Oh, it doesn't want me."

"How do you know?"

"House eats Tardises."

"House what? What do you mean?"

"I don't know. It's something I heard you say" Idris says pointing to the Doctor.

"When?"

"In the future."

"House eats Tardises?" Idris puts her thumb to the Doctor's lips.

"There you go. What are fish fingers?"

"When do I say that?"

"Any second."

"Of course. House feeds on rift energy and Tardises are bursting with it" I say.

"And not raw, all lovely and cooked. Processed food. Mmm, fish fingers" the Doctor says.

"Do fish have fingers?" Idris asks walking towards me and playing with a strand of my hair.

"But you can't eat a TARDIS. it would destroy you. Unless, unless..." I trail off.

"Unless you deleted the TARDIS Matrix first" Idris responds.

"So, it deleted you."

"But House can't just delete a TARDIS' consciousness. That would blow a hole in the universe. So, he pulls out the Matrix, sticks it in a living receptacle and then it feeds off the remaining Artron energy" Idris says, she looks at the Doctor "oh. You were about to say all that. I don't suppose you have to now."