Falling For It ✔️

Thirty Two

The next morning I woke up before him. I was on my side with my back against his chest when I looked up to see the time. Thank god I didn't work today because I would have been late. I turned slowly in his arms to face him and I couldn't help but smile at the sleeping face before me.

I loved this man.

I took my fingers and traced patterns across his face and neck; not once did he move.

At first, I was so caught up in my happiness that didn't remember the night before. When I did, an overwhelming amount of gilt washed through me and my chest felt heavy. I could feel the anxiety rising within me, getting stuck in my throat. I honestly felt sick.

I hurt him.

I hurt him so much.

I had never seen him like that.

The feeling started to sink into my soul and I couldn't help but to let out a few tears. I felt horrible. I never in a million years would want to make anyone, let alone this man, feel like he was unloved.

I leaned forward and placed a soft kiss to his lips holding them there softly. He stirred for a moment, but then moved so that he was laying on his back pulling his arm from around me. He was sound asleep, and it gave me the opportunity to move.

I got up from the bed and headed right for the shower. I needed something to drown my gilt in. As soon as my body hit the falling water I broke down in heavy sobs.

I almost lost him.

I can't believe I almost lost him.

I am so lucky.

I am so lucky that he loves me.

I am so lucky that he trusts me.

I am damn lucky that he believed me.

He believed in me.

It was too much for me to really handle. I had no one to blame other than myself. It was slowly starting to eat away at me, but after about 20 minutes in the hot water, crying my heart out, I started to feel better. I wrapped myself in a fluffy pink towel that Yoongi bought for me to keep at his house, and made my way back to his bedroom.

He was still sleeping and I sat down on the bed next to him. I contemplated on how I would have felt had he decided to leave me. If I had broken his trust. I hated that feeling. Absolutely hated it. I was so lost in my own thoughts I didn't really notice the change in my surroundings.

Yoongi had woken up and lifted his torso, but I didn't notice. It was only when he put a gentle hand on my chin to look up at him, did I realize he was no longer sleeping.

"Baby, why are you crying?" He asked in a sleepy heavy voice. A voice I loved so much.

It made even more tears pool in my eyes, and this time there was no stopping them from falling. "I am so sorry Yoongi. I am so sorry for everything, I really truly never meant to hurt you. I hope you believe me."

"Of course, I do."

He shifted himself and pulled the covers off. I ignored his nakedness, but when he wrapped his legs and arms around me, I couldn't help but feel warmer. He started kissing on my face and turned my chin so that I was looking over to him. His eye brows were furrowed together and his thumb was wiping away my tears. "Do you feel that bad?"

"Yes." I chocked. "Yoongi I thought I was going to lose you. I thought you were done with me, and that feeling is still inside." I replied placing a hand over my chest. "God it feels like my heart is being slowly ripped from my chest. Seeing you so upset, seeing how I had hurt you...I don't ever want to see that again. I don't ever want to be the cause of that pain for you."