when the dust settles down

# 7 Is It Really Me?

The oak wood door stretched open and a muscular man in his late 50s was glaring at me.
He was wearing a black polo T-shirt but his biceps were about to burst out of sleeves.
He was around 6feet tall with eye colour as same as mine.
His black hair was spread on his forehead and that jawline was certainly the reason he looked handsome for his age.
"What are you doing here?" He barked, narrowing down his eyes on me.
His voice ran chills down my spine.
"Hello sir,I...I am Meghan,I think I was dating your son" I spoke innocently.
"What...so...you were,so rumors are indeed true,you harlot,what did you do to my son,where is he....!!!" He shouted, I m pretty sure,it was spit that landed on my face.
I explained him my "I have forgotten my life" situation and the purpose of my visit.
"I am giving you 10 minutes ,tops,go find pieces of your life if you can" he sternly said and went upstairs.
I took a deep breath and entered inside.
Strong  sweet smell of cinnamon pie hit me.
It felt familiar.
I felt the heat raising in my body.
My senses were going numb,my mouth was out of moisture so I went towards the kitchen for water,as I was gulping down the water,I realized that it was same kitchen where I and Danielle was in my dream. The only thing that ruined the spectacular kitchen scene was the unwashed utensils in sink.

I swayed towards their living room,it was a huge hall with purple curtains and a designer wall,with white fur carpet spread on floor,it was mesmerizing.
I ran my fingers over the black leather sofa facing the 56" plasma TV, I felt nostalgic,it was like I have been here many times.

"Why can't you accept this,I have been abandoned my whole life,I never got love of my parents, I was bullied my whole life,when I thought finally my life is back on track ,my engagement got shattered, I didn't even know what love was till I met you,and now you are dumping me like I am a piece of trash,why!!!!" I screamed,my voiced echoed in the dark forest.
A full moon was looking at us shyly behind the loosely knitted clouds.
I pushed him hard on tree,I was losing my mind,the anger to choke him to death was boiling inside me.
I held him by collar and strangled him,
He was trying to say something maybe pleading but I didn't lose my grip,I wanted to kill him.
"If you cant be mine,then you belong to no one,I will make you mine forever,Dan,FOREVER!!!!!" I shrieked.
And then BLACK OUT.
Everything went back to normal except me ,tears were rolling down my cheeks and my palms were covered in sweat.
I felt something churning up in me,I ran outside and vomited in the nearby bushes.
I felt terrible, it was horrifying.

I sat down on footpath,with my head in my palms staring at the line of ants heading to a hole.
What if i killed him,i had a purpose.
But if i indeed killed him,who attacked me and why.
Why was i in woods,left alone and stranded.
Why wasn't danielle's body found.
It was all so complicated.
I shouldn't have come to WILLIAM's ,it only aggravated my life,now even I am a SUSPECT.!!!.
I couldn't breathe.
"Sometimes its good to know the ugly truth than comforting lies" I said to myself.
"I need to know what happened,I first need to find out what type of person I was"
I stood up and decided to go back to ZANE's ,she might not like me but she will tell me the truth at least.
I again stood in front of villa 67,and rang the bell.
The same girl opened the door,but she looked like she had  cried,her whole mascara was out of place.

"I dont know who you are ,or what I did,but I am here to apologize to you,I really do,maybe this memory loss is the way to my redemption,but please tell me what I did to you,I have really no idea,I will make it up to you,but give me a chance ."
I begged through my watery eyes.
There was silence for few minutes,and then she spoke.
"You....you and I were good friends,you used to work at specter's and then come at evening here for tea,and then you met Danielle through me,we all three used to hang out but then you started screwing him behind my back." She was furious and crying altogether.
"You back-stabbed me,I will never forget that you had sex with him on my birthday, and then he broke up with me,I trusted you meghan,I TRUSTED YOU,how could you do that and what can fix it now." She said with high hiccups.
I didn't know what to say,I am a monster,my lack of words was humiliating.
"Meghan,I think you should go,you remind me of him,you remind me of betrayal,please leave" and then she shut the door.
I felt numb,like someone froze me,why am I even trying to know about my past,why can't I just let it go and start my new life.
I stood there just like that having argument in my head about my life.