Forty-Five

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November 10

Minnie -

They finally let someone into my room for a reason other than pumping my system full of drugs. My therapist came to see me. He read through all of my letters and said he was glad to see that you've remained a strong support for me through this whole mess. But he also said he wanted to talk to the researchers. Apparently it's unethical to administer medications to a patient, especially a minor, without the patient and their parents' knowledge and approval.

They brought in a general practitioner to assess my condition. He said my hands and feet should have far more mobility than they do, but they're too swollen to move properly. My face is puffy, and I'm pale. I wish they hadn't made me look at myself, because I don't look like myself anymore. He also said I haven't been getting adequate nutrition since I keep throwing up every time I try to eat and that my weight is getting to be lower than he thinks is safe. He told the researchers that he thinks they should call off the study and have me put into a medically-induced coma in order to force my body to reset and resume normal functioning. He said I'd still be getting nutrients through an IV, but that my body could recover from exhaustion and fatigue. All of us were opposed to this idea, me especially.

Love, Hyunjin

published dec 19

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