J & P Book 3 - Please Don't Leave Me

Chapter 18

His first shift back after what had since been termed his "compassionate leave" after he'd explained the situation to his supervisor, had been long, and somewhat stressful, but after the stress of Monday night and Tuesday morning, he was prepared for anything that life could possibly throw at him.

From the moment that Jenny had walked into his hotel room to the moment that he'd left her bedside in the hospital the next afternoon, he had experienced a rollercoaster of emotions and feelings, including desire, ecstasy, guilt, fear, hatred, resentment, love, terror. Going into work mode at one point, trying to reduce the bleeding after Jenny had been stabbed. Then, more emotions. Confusion, jealousy, sadness. A sadness that had led to him walking into Jenny's room, determined to tell her that he was going home and he didn't want to see her again.

It was not for the same reasons he'd left her last time. This time he'd acknowledged that not being in Jenny's life for the last five years had caused her just as much pain as anything he could have possibly done to her had he stayed. But this time, he knew Jenny had been right. He couldn't just walk in and reverse the last five years. He couldn't do it to Patrick.

But this time was different, because this time, there was Andrew to think of. And when Jenny had told him that she wanted him to be a part of Andrew's life, he was in no position to argue. He would just have to live with the fact that the woman he loved was never going to be his. That would be his punishment for what he had done to her.

And then it had been such a nice surprise being reunited with Robbie and Lucia, after all that time, at a key point in their lives. They'd asked him to be godfather to their baby, which he of course agreed to. They hadn't been bitter about the reason for his absence over the last few years, but had been genuinely pleased to see him.

The news came on the radio as he drove home. His ear was drawn to the third story in the bulletin. "Missing Jenton boy, Andrew Smalley, has been reunited with his parents after a five day search culminated in an armed siege at the flat of one of his teaching assistants. Elizabeth Silva, 29, from Broxburn has been charged with two counts of kidnapping and one count of grievous bodily harm. One person is recovering in hospital."

Paul smiled to himself. It sounded as if it had all happened to people he didn't know. He was now approaching the area where his mother lived. He wasn't going to call in to see her today. It would be her job to come to him. He still wasn't certain he could forgive her for her deceit. If she'd only told him about Jenny's pregnancy, life could have been very different. But that was not to be. Things had panned out differently.

He carried on driving. The song he had played for Jenny in the hotel on Monday night came on the radio. He smiled, cherishing the memory of her, clad only by a blanket, dancing gently with him, so much love in her eyes.

He arrived home, and saw Linda's car parked outside the flat. She was back, then. They hadn't spoken since Sunday, their last communication having been that voicemail message on Monday. He parked his car behind hers, and took a deep breath. He got out of the car, and went into the flat.

He was greeted by Beano, who then scampered off again, presumably spooked by the presence of a cat basket in the hallway. He followed Beano into the bedroom, where he found Linda, packing a large suitcase.

"You're leaving," he stated.

She turned to look at him. She'd been in tears.

"Listen, I'm so sorry about your Dad. How are you bearing up?"

She stood up, and walked towards him. "I'm getting there, thanks."

"That's good. If you want to talk..."