A Look Inside

9/14/1978

5:06pm
Well today is Thursday, making it the fourth official day of us living here. I don't have any different feelings than I did about it yesterday. Second day of school was absolutely painful. Billy wasn't there today, so there went my human shield. This girl named Abigail Mingus came up to me today during science class trying to ask me a million questions. She's got blonde hair, blue eyes, she's passionate about school, and she has the most energy you can imagine in a human being behind her voice. Her blue skirt went all the way down to her ankles, and she was wearing a white turtle neck with a blue bow in her hair. She looks like she comes from a religious family, so I was trying to not get mad at her for being so invasive, and kind of socially retarded. I didn't want to be too rude so I told her my name and I did shake her hand. But god I just wanted her to fuck off so bad. Have you ever had to just plaster the fakest smile on your face and it just hurts both emotionally and physically? Yeah that's what it was like.
My science teacher, Mr. Hemp, finally told her to go sit down, and I swear I heard angels singing in the back of my head. At lunch today I sat by myself since Billy didn't show up today. Two guys who I assume are in my grade came and sat at the table with me. One was a brown haired, brown eyed guy named Alexander, and his buddy was an African American guy named James. James looked immensely uncomfortable, while Alexander just had a smirk spread wide across his face. Alexander, for some reason, just hates new kids apparently, and I think James just wanted to be liked so he followed along with his antics. Anyway, Alex stole my lunch and smeared peanut butter and jelly on my cheek before getting up and leaving with James. It took every muscle in me to not get up and just punch him in the face. I promised mom that I wouldn't get into too much trouble at this new school after the incident last year that almost got me expelled. Thank god for Lawyers and a money hungry dad.
After I went to the bathroom and cleaned my face, I did notice someone kind of interesting. I don't know her name at all but, she looks to be about half my height (6'1 as the doctors last told me upon my last visit- I should probably find that paper, maybe mom has it.) She has beautiful long Auburn hair. I wasn't able to get too good of a look at her, but I also didn't want her to catch me looking and think I was a creep. I mean, I was hanging out with Billy and, who knows what his reputation might be. Oh well, she's just some girl anyway. I saw her hanging out with this one girl named Melissa Douglas who I know is a spoiled rich diva just from looking at her. So maybe she's like that too. I don't want to associate myself with girls like that, dad says all they're good for is stealing your money and heartbreak. I think he says that because of Vicky, this girl he was married to before he met mom, and he was working at a factory at, the time and she one day just up and left and stole all his money. He wasn't a rich man, he never really has been, so I know that his money hungry ass was bawling like a baby. I like all my classes for the most part, but I've always done really good in school so I'm not too worried. I decided to take French for my language credit, Spanish just bores me now after years of taking it. Siento que puedo hablarlo con bastante fluidez.
My French teacher Mrs. Bisset is actually pretty hot. She's got like a husband and a three year old son, and I'm only 16 so, there goes my hopes and dreams.
When I got home from school mom was on the phone, she told me to keep a look out for dad for when he pulled into the driveway. I think she was on the phone with aunt Betty. Mom knows that if dad sees the bill he's going to flip, so there goes my chances of sneaking to call Andy this month. I might write him a letter, I kind of hope he thinks to do the same before I do. I wonder if he misses me just as much as I miss him. I might have to ask my mom for some dimes so I can use a pay phone at the library after school to call him. Since I lost my last journal from before the move, I want to write out how I met Andy for memories sakes because I refuse to ever lose this journal.
Me and Andy met in the 1st grade at our elementary school in Oregon. He was slightly shorter than me and kinda chubby at the time. Over the years he now stands at I think a solid 5'11 and he's very skinny. I was there for him when his dad died, him and his mom were in shambles and didn't know what to do. She had to pick up a second job to support her and Andy. Andy barely saw her because of that and was basically living at my house for like 3 or 4 years. He's like a brother to me, and I miss him a lot every day.
I don't want to sound gay, but I mean I do miss him. He's the only human I've ever met that I've felt accepted by. He didn't judge the fact that I barely spoke, or even the fact that I had a pretty dreary outlook on the world. He always tried to stay positive. It was weird when I had to try to be his light though, he always told me to not worry about it but I did.
Anyway, I'm being sappy as hell and I miss my best friend.
Send me a letter, please Andy.

I've been listening to your favorite Rolling Stones song; Sweet Virginia. It makes me happy.

Fuck it I need to call you soon.