A Look Inside

9/29/1978

3:45pm
It's now eleven days before my 17th Birthday. Dad got the phone bill this morning and sure enough he freaked out. I guess the bill was over $200 so him and mom started arguing about it. He told her that she doesn't need women like Betty because they're "too much trouble." Mom started defending aunt Betty and dad saw me in the kitchen ready for school. I was contemplating on going when I saw dads hand raised with the bill in the other hand. Mom was crying, dad was glooming over her with a shadow of anger almost. She looked so small and scared and helpless. I couldn't even bring myself to say anything, because I'm an idiot. Maybe if I was able to say something things wouldn't have gone the way they did. I shoved dad on his side to get him away from her just before his hand met her face. I had to act quick and I wish I said something instead but I didn't. Mom looked shocked but before I knew it dad had me pinned to the ground and he was punching me on the sides, I think it was so nobody could see. It makes me remember things like this from the old house and how many beatings mom had taken from him. I was always too nervous of my dad to stand up for her, but this time I couldn't help myself. I couldn't watch that happen to her anymore. She was screaming and begging him to get off me, it didn't hurt too bad but dads fatter than I am so it was hard to get him off of me. A mix of lean and fat and lots of it isn't a good combination. I think I started blacking out because I started punching dad in the arms and tried getting his face but he kept dodging the hits. Finally mom was able to get him off of me by using a book and throwing it at the back of his head. He was still pissed off and he got up from the ground and stormed off to the bathroom, slamming the door on the way in. Once he was gone I sat up as best as I could, my ribs hurt more as I tried sitting up, mom just sat beside me and hugged my head crying. All I could do was let a few tears loose, I didn't want dad to see me crying though. A few minutes later, he stormed back through and left for work slamming the front door. Mom told me I didn't have to go to school since I was in pain but, I tried convincing her I was okay and it didn't work. So I didn't end up going to school today. Instead, me and mom sat with each other for a couple of hours until we felt better. I just want to take her away from this hell, but she claims she's happy and wants to stay with dad because he takes care of her. I don't think anyone should stay with someone just because of that reason but, if this is she wants there's nothing I can do to change her mind.
To lighten the mood of this entry since it's all about my money hungry dad and his bullshit, I'll talk about school I guess.

School is school.

School is boring.

I fucking hate this place.

7:08pm
Dad got home from work tonight and the tensions were still very much alive and well in the air. Mom made dinner as normal and when we were all at the table trying to eat mom finally spoke up and asked dad how his day went. I couldn't really eat much because my ribs are still pretty sore from this morning. Mom says that if they're not better by Monday for school she's taking me to the doctor. I don't think she should worry too much about me. I wish I could call Andy and tell him about today, even though I didn't really get some good hits in on dad I know Andy would be proud of me. Andy has never had any strong opinions on dad but he knows how much me and dad don't get along. When Andy was basically living with us dad never laid a hand on mom, but once Andy got older and was able to take care of himself more, he started staying at his house more often and dad started acting up again. I think he was trying to make Andy feel safe and comfortable but, why can't he do that for me and mom? I know he has restraint in his anger, so I don't understand why he keeps getting violent with her. I know that dad watched his dad treat his mom that way so again, why would he do this? I just don't understand.
Billy stopped by at about 4:00, which was weird to me because I honestly didn't think he gave a fuck about me, his little anti-social leech. But mom welcomed him in with open arms and put on her host face. She does that every time company comes over. He sat with me in my room in silence for about twenty minutes. I didn't really know what to do or say except ask him why he was here. He told me that he got worried when I didn't show up for school today, his face wasn't normal either. Instead of looking grumpy he had a sliver of concern on his face, mixed with what I can only assume is shame? I couldn't really tell but he was acting weird. He even put his hand on my back and started rubbing it for comfort until I started crying again. He didn't judge me though for crying, which was weird. I was so sure he'd call me a pussy or tell me to man up. He told me that it was alright as I just cried into my hands. I don't know what came over me but I actually vented a little bit. It felt nice to tell someone about how my dad has always treated my mom. I didn't go into further detail in fear of dad finding out. Billy just sat there silently letting me cry and rubbing my back until I calmed down and stopped. After a while he finally stood up and told me he had to go. I nodded and told him thank you for coming out. He retorted back with a "yeah well don't get used to it." I think he likes me as a friend more than he knows. Which is weird because he acts nothing like Andy, and I didn't think I could ever get close to someone who was more like me.

Billy Hunt; Friend?

Why did he stop at my house? Does he care? If so then why?