The Cleaning Lady Chronicles

Kill'em with Kindness

Bitter sweet sweetens sourness every time

Pretty quickly into this cleaning business endeavor I seemed to have developed a sort of cleaning style. I guess I have learned what niceties clients appreciate. Those nice little extra's that make them love coming home to see on cleaning day. One couple I clean for actually fight, in a playful manner, over who gets to use the bathroom first so they get to use the folded to a point toilet paper. Makes them feel like they are coming home to the Hilton they say. This has become my signature move when the lavatory is 'Done.'

I always scan a house before leaving to make sure nothing is missed and when I see these little extras I feel like I have done my job well. It feels good to walk into a room when I've placed the cushions just so, or have the towels in the hotel three fold or have the throw blanket in a certain way across the arm of the couch. I imagine that nice feeling it must give the homeowner when they see all this at the end of their busy day. Especially considering how these rooms usually look before I get my gloved hands on them! Let's just say, making my clients feel special is what keeps my schedule with a waiting list.

Not with this particular client however.

Not Gena.

It mattered not what nice extra's I performed in this staunchly woman's house. I'd say home, but this person put a chill on every inch of this house. Nothing homey about it cause when she walks in, bbbbrrrrrrrr, ice chips fall.

I say 'Good Morning Gena' and she says, nothing. She puts a dripping dirty coffee cup down on the freshly sanitized kitchen counter and just turns and walks away expressionless as I say 'Oh here, let me get that for you' rewiping everything and putting the cup in the dishwasher right below where she had placed it. Help carry her groceries in from the laundry room to the kitchen as she unloads her steel grey SUV and I might get an expressionless 'Oh...' when she notices.

On top of her chilly disposition Gena had a way of making sure I was told I had done something wrong at every visit, even though her complaints had nothing to do with my cleaning or myself. Example:

May 3rd,

It appears that my television channel was changed to the shopping network. As I haven't watched the shopping network in weeks, I'd like to make you aware that I noticed this yesterday morning.

G

'Oh, do they really have good deals on there? I have never tried TV shopping.' But what I'd really like to add to my reply is 'Thanks so much for making me aware considering I do not ever watch the shopping channel especially in someone else's home when working!' But I don't.

Then there was this one:

Feb 14th,

Please note, the plant is not an ashtray.

G

'Thanks G, and as a plant enthusiast and non-smoker and tend to agree!' Other thoughts follow, like, 'Do I look like an idiot?' But again, I leave it at that. Instead of showing her she's got my back up and answering back in an argumentative manner I find it best to keep a smile on, continuing to do my nice extra's and all the while letting her know 'Not me!' She leaves me a note saying something negative, I respond with even more sugary sweet niceness!

It seemed Gena was getting more and more up tight. Busier than ever and not really paying attention to what was going on around her. Which was very evident backing out her driveway like an Indie 500 Driver, knocking over the recycling bins she herself places at the end of the driveway every Thursday and then yelled out at the neighbourhood kids to 'watch the hell out,' as she peels away with newspapers and sour milk cartons bouncing around behind her.

Poor wide-eyed curly blond pigtailed eight year old! She stood there stunned more than a handful of mornings that I witnessed. Bless the child for having Broom Hilda living next door and not turning out to be a juvenile rebel from hell.

On the communication clipboard I set up to use for payments and these lovely notes, I always leave her with good wishes and a request to list any extras she may need done for the following visit. But week after week she is getting more and more agitated. I maintain a sweet disposition and she becomes more and more like an ice robot from Antarctica. If Antarctica had ice robots that is. I even brought her some of my famous banana bread wrapped like it's from a fancy coffee shop and placed it on the clipboard and said, 'Enjoy!' and nothing back from her on it. Nothing! I know she ate it. I wiped up the crumbs!

I thought this was a classic case of human nature. Take frustrations out on and blame those who are perceived as being 'less than' for things you can't believe you have done yourself absent-mindedly. Didn't let it bothered me. I liked the location too much and I'm way too stubborn to let her win! She will not break me! MOIHaHaHaaaa! Now who's evil? I was too determined to kill her with kindness!

A few weeks after I left the banana bread I was left this final note. No, not her suicide note of finality. I did not reeeaallly kill her; push her to end it all! Death by banana bread did not occur but perhaps a thaw was finally taking place. This did go to show that human natures' definitely a complex thing. It seems her behavior was definitely a defense mechanism in the end, but not exactly for what I thought. Please read:

Nov 7th,

I would like to ask you for one more week of service and terribly sorry for the lack of notice. If you could, please do a final clean after the movers are done next Thursday and leave the keys on the hook just inside the garage door when done.

My brother is struggling badly with Parkinson's and has no one around him to help out in Ohio. So, I am renting this house out and moving in with him. It seems the best arrangement in this situation. I have been so distraught with worry for him I cannot keep this up. Trying to organize for him from here is nearly impossible. It just doesn't work. I'd like to thank you for all that you have done. And want you to know, whenever I'm away and see the toilet paper folded into a point at the hotel, I think of all the nice things you do. Please accept this plant in way of thanks, as a 'plant enthusiast' I thought it best to go to you.

G

'So glad I didn't actually kill her, she does have a soul!!' was my initial thought. Then I felt a little weirded out at the idea of her thinking of me every time she sat on a hotel toilet. Creepy. But seriously, I was very thankful I kept up with being sweet. You never really know what's going on inside a person's steely grey shell. Or why they behave the way they do. Looks like little goldilocks next door will be much safer now. And all the recycling bins too.