Fire is Catching

Chapter 3: Goodbyes

CHAPTER 3: GOODBYES

As I sit on the red plush couch in the goodbyes room, I want to take my acceptance of this plan back. I've hurt all the people I care about so that stupid Everdeen can live. She might not even consent to be their stupid Mockingjay.

The door opens, and Lilyanna rushes in. "Mom!" She cries as she embraces me.

I hug her back tightly.

"What're we going to do?" She asks, voice choked and eyes wet from tears.

I sigh. I've thought about this a lot after I accepted Plutarch's deal. "You'll live with Chase, and sometimes stay with Onnie or Georgina."

Lilyanna grabs my arm. "Mom," she says quietly. "You don't have to kill anyone if you don't want to. I'll understand."

I want to cry, but know I must hold my tears back. My twelve year old is telling me that I don't have kill any more people so I can come back to her. She is so grown up.

"I will try to come back, but whatever you see on that screen, you have to be brave, Lilyanna. Be brave."

She nods. "Okay Mom." Lilyanna lifts herself to whisper in my ear, "Fire is catching, make them burn. Don't let them win."

"Get out. Time's up." The Peacekeepers say, and usher my daughter out. I can't help but feel like this is the last time I'll ever see her.

Onnie and Georgina are next to come in. Onnie hugs me, and pats my cheek.

Georgina wastes no time getting down to business. "I'm your mentor, Alex. Zero is Domino's. That means Onnie and Chase will watch Lilyanna. We can talk strategy later."

"Okay." I say. I look Georgina right in the eye. "Thank you Georgina."

Onnie pats my arm. "Child is taken care." She says in her slurred speech. "Come home."

But I won't come home. Even if Plutarch's plan works, I will go to District 13 and probably never see Onnie or Georgina again. "These people are experienced killers." I manage to get out.

Before she can reply, the Peacekeepers announce that their time is up.

Onnie doesn't listen. She extends her finger to my chest. Her eyes meet mine, and I understand. She is telling me to be myself. To stay as Alex Winter. But at what cost?

Georgina hustles Onnie out, apologizing to the Peacekeepers.

The door opens yet again and Chase enters. He wraps his big strong arms around me. "Oh Alex," he says. "I'm so sorry. You never asked for any of this."

What he doesn't understand is that I did ask for it. I let Plutarch put my name into that reaping bowl a thousand times.

"None of us did." I tell him softly.

He looks down at me, his dark eyes alight in strategy. "Make an alliance. Finnick and Mags were reaped from 4, so ally with them. Everdeen was reaped from 12, don't go anywhere near her. If she has Haymitch, don't trust him. If she has Mellark, don't go near him. Enobaria and Brutus from 2 seem like the only ones who want to kill. They both volunteered. I don't know who was reaped for most of the Districts. You can-"

"Chase," I say. "I'm going to be honest with you: I can't win. I can't kill Finnick or Mags or even Haymitch."

"Maybe you won't have to!" He cries angrily. "Then don't ally with Finnick. Stay by yourself and hide. But Alexandria Emerald Winter, you will win the 75th Hunger Games!"

I sigh. No one will win the 75th Hunger Games. "It's not that easy." I tell him. "There's-"

Chase interrupts me by kissing me straight on the lips. It feels electrifying, magical, wonderful, like I am being hit with everything great at the same time. I put my arms around his neck and kiss him back.

We get pulled apart by rough hands. The Peacekeepers drag Chase away. "Chase!" I yell. "Chase!"

He's gone before I can remember exactly how his face looks. That's what I'll think of when my cannon goes off.