A Court of Ashes and Daybreak

Nesta

My arms and legs and back ached, but for once I didn't go out that night. I could barely walk by the time I got home, and even the thought of the rich, hot young bachelor that I'd been chatting up in my favoured tavern last night couldn't bring me to move another inch. Plus, well, he didn't seem quite as attractive as I'd previously thought, not after spending the day with Cassian. Cassian's not hot, I told myself. Just stupidly muscular.

I groaned as I crawled into bed, pulling a plateful of food towards me. It wasn't half as good as Cassian's cooking, I thought bitterly. Why did he have to be good at everything? At least it made it easier to hate him. I spooned mashed potato into my mouth, trying not to think of the torture I'd signed myself up for tomorrow. Going jogging with Cassian. Fuck. Jogging. Fuck. Cassian. Fuck. 6am. Who the hell gets up at 6am?! How was I going to survive?

BRRIIINNNGGGG!!!! BRRIIIINNGGGGGG!!!!! BRRRIIIIIINNGG!!!! I woke with a befuddled gasp, still half in a dream full of walls and stones and a massive cooking pot that tipped over and over until finally Feyre and Elaine came tumbling out, except now they had bird heads and claws and were screaming that I had killed their father and I must be punished. I hit the alarm clock, sighed, and slumped back onto the covers. It had been a bad dream, but it hadn't been The Dream. It hadn't been the dream where the fire inside me all spilled over until I couldn't control it anymore, and I had to watch as Velaris and Feyre and Elaine, dear sweet Elaine, went up in flames, as the grass around my father's grave was reduced to ash, as I stood, alone, and unable to stop it, having failed them, watching the destruction I had caused.

I clenched my teeth, bringing my mind back out of that dream-world, peering at the clock through sleep-lazy eyes. It was 10 to 6. Probably the earliest I had got up for years. I pulled back the covers, wincing as the frigid morning air bit my bare skin. I pulled on shorts and a light jumper, tying a headscarf around my ears to protect them from the bitter spring wind. It wouldn't be a bad day later on, but someone thought it was a good idea to get up and do horrifically painful exercise before the sun had properly pulled itself up into the sky. Cassian.

He came out when I knocked on his door, dressed similarly in a thick shirt and shorts. We set off without speaking, him running lightly and me following, praying he didn't try to go any faster. All too soon, he headed off up a slight incline and I was reduced to rasping breath and trembling limbs and a stitch that felt as if it was slowly eating my insides. "Stretch your hands above your head. It helps with the stitch." I did so, disbelieving. The stitch made me want to curl into a tiny ball and hide from the world, not stretch out, but after an initial twinge I was amazed at how it eased. It was still a throbbing pain in my gut, but it didn't feel like it was killing me anymore. We jogged on.

I had to admit, getting up at six was better than I had thought. The sun was rising, a lighter, cleaner pink than a sunset, and the colours were washing across the river. Higher up, the sky was dusty blue and the wind ruffled silver on the surface of the water. Long rushes swayed, and it felt like we were the only people in the world, like everything was completely untouched. The mornings were clean, I thought, before everything was up and the world was all busy.

We headed up through a woodland, me panting and moving slower and slower, birds waking and singing out brightly all around, until the trees opened up and we looked out down onto the sea. We stood in silence for a minute, until I began to shiver slightly, and Cassian jerked a thumb down towards the path down. It was steeper than the way up, and we picked our way carefully down, feet slipping over the leaves left over from last autumn. The ground levelled out as we reached the outskirts of the city, jogging along with houses on one side and a slightly scruffy park on the other. We were just about to turn away further into the town when I spotted something....