capsize me and douse me in your bay

chapter twenty two

Over the next few days, Toni started to notice subtle little changes in Cheryl's behavior. The redhead was quiet and closed off until Toni would ask if she was feeling all right. After which, she would force a smile onto her face, attack her with kisses, and act like the world was nothing but sunshine and rainbows. It was turning into a daily occurrence. Every weekday when Toni would return home for her lunch break, she would find Cheryl curled up in a ball on their bed, staring into space. But once Toni would tuck her hair back and ask her what's wrong, Cheryl would perk right up, plant a kiss (or several) on her lips, and they would go get the mail together if Toni had time after they ate.

"What happened to you wanting to get the mail on your own?" the pinkette chuckled as she stood back up from tying Cheryl's red tennis shoes for her.

Brown eyes stared back at her blankly for a moment, deep in thought as her smile faltered a little. "I like to go with you," a blush took over her pale complexion as she lied through her pearly white teeth, guilt and shame flowing through her veins. She didn't like lying to Toni, but it was better for her. Toni had lived through so much hurt, she didn't want to add to it.

"Okay," the older girl cocked her head to the side a little, reaching up to smooth out some hair from Cheryl's high ponytail before they walked out the door together. She could feel the damp heat of sweat radiating from Cheryl's palms as they walked. Along with the fidgeting and her silence, Toni could just tell that something was wrong. But they reached the mailbox in front of the building and Cheryl's giddiness had returned once more.

"What did we get?" her ponytail bounced against her shoulders as she hopped in place, "Is there anything for me?"

Toni's heart sunk a little at the question. All she had was some forwarded mail from New York and junk mail. "Not today, Cher, but..." she handed her a colorful flyer for a new rec center that was opening up across town, "Here, you can have this one."

For the first time in days, Toni saw genuine happiness in Cheryl's eyes as she glanced over the flyer she was given. She couldn't keep up with these mood swings, but she tried to remain as neutral as possible for Cheryl's sake.

"I've gotta head back to work, but I'll see you when I get back around five-thirty," she sighed, taking her hand to walk her back. She knew that Cheryl had a key and could get back in on her own, but she had never had to use it on her own. And the last thing she wanted was to leave her and come back in the evening to find her crying outside their door because she couldn't get in. Or worse, her not being there at all because she decided to wander around in search of help. "What are you gonna do for the rest of the day?"

"I do not know yet," Cheryl swung their hands between them, seemingly upbeat once again, "I will probably watch Friends and play Candy Crush."

Toni nodded quietly. She felt bad about leaving Cheryl at home all the time like a dog. There wasn't much for her to do around the apartment, and she couldn't even imagine how boring it was. But what else could she do? Cheryl wasn't a child, she coudn't just drop her off at daycare so someone else could keep her entertained for a few hours.

"Well, I get paid tomorrow, so maybe we can go out and get you some more clothes after I get home?"

"But I like my clothes," Cheryl pouted, tugging at the hem of her plain pink t-shirt. Along with her cherry print shirt, it was her favorite because it was the same color as Toni's hair.

"You can still keep your clothes, you're just gonna need more than shorts and t-shirts. It's gonna start getting cold soon," the shorter girl chuckled as they approached the apartment door. "You wanna unlock the door?" she asked tentatively, holding her key out. Maybe Cheryl had forgotten how to use her key and that's why she hadn't been getting the mail. But she watched as the redhead put the key into the lock and twisted it to the right just as she'd been taught, unlocking it with ease. So that can't have been the problem. She just didn't understand why Cheryl was so excited about getting the mail on her own, but wasn't getting it.