capsize me and douse me in your bay

chapter twenty eight

Betty checked her phone with a deep sigh, looking sympathetically at Cheryl who was sitting nervously beside her on the foot of her and Toni's bed. "She should be here soon, Cheryl. She's okay."

"She is mad at me because I was mad at her," the redhead shook her head, mumbling almost inaudibly, "She did not tell me she was leaving."

Betty shrugged and rubbed her palms together, "I mean, she probably didn't want to wake you up. Or...maybe she thought that you didn't want to talk to her if she knew you were mad at her. But you know Toni wouldn't just leave and not come back. No matter how big of a fight you get into, she wouldn't do that to you."

"That is what she did when she was mad at F.P.," she looked at her sadly, "She left Riverdale and did not plan on coming back."

The blonde's shoulders slumped as she leaned back on her hands, trying to figure out how to ease Cheryl's mind. "He knew she was leaving, though. She'd been wanting to leave this town for a while, and he knew that. And he...wasn't very nice about it. Toni's not the type to just up and leave without saying goodbye."

Cheryl bit her lip and twiddled her thumbs nervously as she glanced at the clock. She didn't know what time it was, all she knew was that Toni had been gone for much too long. "When I left, I did not say goodbye. I said I would come back, but I did not for a long time," she whispered, wiping a tear from her eye at the memory, "She did not know where I was. And she waited and waited for me. And she got very sad."

"Yeah, I remember," Betty nodded with her bottom lip between her teeth, sitting back upright, "Why weren't you able to contact her? To at least tell her that you were going to be longer than you thought? I mean...no offense, but she was heartbroken, Cheryl. I hadn't seen her sad like that since her parents died."

A lump formed in the younger girl's throat at the mention of just how upset Toni had been while she was gone. She didn't even like waiting for an hour for her, she couldn't imagine waiting three weeks with no guarantee of her return. Toni had told her time and time again that it wasn't her fault, and she knew that. She was being held captive with no communication with anyone but her own parents. But it still killed her inside to know how hurt Toni must have been, thinking that she would never return.

"I could not," she squeezed her eyes shut as she tried not to cry any harder than she already was. But her chest was tight and her eyes stung, and she just couldn't hold it in.

"Hey, it's okay. I just...don't understand, I guess. But I'm trying to," Betty rubbed a hand along the back of her t-shirt, trying to comfort her as best she could.

"I do want you to be able to understand and to know that I did not mean to make Toni heartbroken," she whimpered, looking at the blonde through tear filled brown eyes, "But...I do not know if I can tell you the truth."

"Cheryl, you can trust me. Toni's my best friend in the whole world, and you're important to her, so you're important to me too. That means I'd never betray your trust, okay? I promise," Betty insisted, staring at her with a soft seriousness as Cheryl searched her eyes for any possible sign of dishonesty. She was right. If she betrayed Cheryl, she would be betraying Toni as well. But if Betty couldn't handle the truth, she didn't want this to come between them and ruin their lifelong friendship.

"If you tell anyone...I could get into very big trouble. And I could not stay with Toni anymore. I do not want to put her in any danger," the redhead turned to her, wiping her tears as she spoke seriously despite her trembling voice.

"What did you go to jail or something?" Betty chuckled lightheartedly. But Cheryl just shook her head, unamused by her joke.

"I went back to where I am from to tell my family and friends that I was going to be staying here with Toni. And my mother and father...locked me away when I told them. They would rather I spend the rest of my life alone than live with her," she took a deep breath as she tried to get closer to telling Betty the explicit truth. The blonde was patient and just nodded her head, encouraging her to continue. "Where I am from...girls like me should not be in love with girls like Toni. I don't think people around here think Toni should be in love with me either."