capsize me and douse me in your bay

chapter one

Toni cast her dark brown eyes towards the ocean. The very ocean that took her father from her just a month ago. She always thought that the sea was her friend, but in a matter of hours that day, it had turned into her wild and unpredictable enemy. Despite her young age, she was aware and understanding of the concept of death, unlike most kids in her class.

"And as we mourn the loss of our friend and neighbor Anthony Marcus Topaz, we remember that..." the man in black spoke solemnly to the audience standing in the sand, but little Toni let his words go in one ear and out the other, too distracted by the calm and gentle waves lapping at the shore. They weren't calm and gentle that day...

They had done everything they could, searching everywhere for her father. There was a whole month of search parties before they gave up hope that Anthony was still alive somewhere out there. And with no body to bury or cremate, F.P. decided to have a simple memorial for him on the beach, an open invitation extended to everyone in their small town. The turnout wasn't extravagant, but it was surprising to see just how many people in Riverdale knew and loved Tony.

Sniffling, Toni looked down at the lily in her hands, gently petting the petal with a shaky finger. She had cried a lot over the last month, and she wasn't sure she would ever go a day without crying again. Uncle F.P. told her that she was a tough cookie, but there was no shame in crying. She had even seen him crying a few times, not that he knew she was looking.

She looked up at her uncle who was standing right beside her with a large hand rested on her shoulder. His beard was scruffier than normal and his eyes were dull and dark around the edges. He was looking more and more tired every day. But he would still drive her to school every morning and tuck her in every night. She insisted that he didn't have to take her in. She could live on her own and take care of herself like a big girl. But he told her that's just not how it works. But he made her feel welcome, letting her decorate her room like she wanted. Her bedroom at her house was ocean themed, but now the ocean was the last thing she wanted to think about. Gone were the days of seashells and other nautical decorations.

"And so we say goodbye to Anthony. May his soul rest peacefully," the man in black turned to lay the lily he was holding into the water, letting the wave carry it away as the rest of the mourners did the same.

Toni trembled as Uncle F.P. lead her to the edge of the water, holding her hand as they laid their flowers amongst the foamy ripples. Jughead laid his down after coming up from behind them. He had been taking photographs with his grandfather's old camera from the back of the crowd, remaining quiet and respectful enough that no one knew he was there. Toni watched the ten year old hold the camera to his face, watching him capture the image of dozens of lilies floating in the ocean.

"Can I try?" she asked quietly, holding her hands up for the bulky device.

Jughead offered her a sympathetic smile as he nodded, taking the camera strap off his neck. "Sure," he knelt down beside her, holding the boxy camera up for her to hold, "This right here, that's the viewfinder. Just look through that until you find what you wanna take a picture of. And once you get it, just click the button on top."

The little girl squinted as she held the camera to her face just like he had been. The sky was a pretty gradient of pinks, oranges, purples, and blues. And it reflected beautifully against the water as the sun set over the horizon. Toni always remembered how much her dad loved to watch the sunset. Almost as much as he loved the sunrise.

Sticking out her tongue in concentration, Toni pressed down on the button until she heard a click and felt the device vibrate a little in her hands. "That's it?" she asked, confused.