Starting Anew: Padme & Anakin Star Wars Fanfiction(#Wattys2014)

Chapter 4: Flight To Corascant

The plane soared through the billowy, white clouds- taking him towards a city, where fear and wickedness were the norm, morals not considered and now where murders took place in large numbers. It was all became of him and the thought filled him with such remorse and fury at himself that it was almost unbearable. He'd been so wrapped up in proving his new love and devotion to Padme, that he hadn't considered the consequences still present from his mistakes.

I'll make it up to you, Padme, somehow, I swear it with all that I have left, he silently vowed, as he had to her the previous night. Life or death, pain or comfort, he'd find a way, a path leading to redemption and returning to a total surrender of his talents to the right side of the war. There was to be no more remorse over what had taken place; instead he had to move on and make amends for the events brought about. Padme had told him that the key lay in seeing what you did wrong and repenting for it, and it seemed so far she was right.

A peace and sense of determination surrounded him, when he took the leap of faith and made up his mind to forget his wrongs and bury them in the grave called the past. The current meditative state of mind he found himself in was soothing to say the least, so unlike the Jedi hour of quietness and meditation he'd been required to spend each day. He'd never known that thinking seriously about things for a while in a reflective state could be so profitable and enjoyable.

At last it seemed, he could understand why Master Yoda, Mace Windu, and the other Jedi had created such a practice for the Padwans, Knights, and Masters. He wondered why he had questioned their wisdom, every time he entered the dark, curtained room, where he was closeted in absoulute stilness and quitnesss. But for someone who was always on the move, calming one's self for a selected slot of minutes was remedy for both mind and soul.

Anakin could see why Yoda often engaged in the exercise, more than the required sixty minutes; that he couln't wait to race off from; to more exciting work( like sharpening his lightsaber skills). It must be that it took time and gradual maturity to gain a full, comprehension of the subject. The purpose and point of meditation hour was to the ponder the events of the day, and to look forward and prepare for the future. It was to look deep into yourself and resolve the issues and matter of one's life. 

In addition, it was to think of the Jedi way and it's incredible, brillant system of intricate, strong bonds. There was a loyalty and commitment there, to a common cause of selflessly giving to others. It was known and sole, important center of the Jedi code, to protect and perserve lives from the evil forces that too often penetrated their surrounding planets. It didn't matter if fulfilling this goal meant losing a limb or even a life. 

Because, the last thing on a Jedi's mind was his own safety or desires. This was a  pure virtue, like that of self- control and discernment, that was instilled in the youngest learner from the start. His little brush with nearly destroying himself had left him much more humble and willing to learn and accept concepts taught by his elders. Their knowledge was far greater than his and was only there so he could better himself and become the best man and person he was capable of being.

This newly found truth was relevant in this season in his life, when he was trying to be the ideal husband to Padme and father to his children. In spite of what he'd said to her, it had hurt him that she was scared of him. And he was determined to change that, whatever it might take. He was so wrapped up in his thoughts, that the real world didn't seem to exist. So, when Obi Wan tapped him on the shoulder, he turned, startled, to his mentor. 

"Oh, master, I'm sorry.I didn't notice you." he said quickly. 

" You seem quite involved with whatever it is you were thinking about." Obi Wan grinned, " May I ask what that would be?"