"Is that all sir?" The perky cashier guy asks.
"Yeah..uh..thank you"
I exit the store with my purchases in hand.
I decided to skip the rest of the day at school and do something some what enjoyable, thus ending up at the mall.
Sipping my starbucks and boredly checking my phone I find a table at the food court and have a seat.
My mind keeps on drifting to the dream I had the previous night. I cannot get it out of my head. The nasty sight of blood that coated the walls were permanently engraved inside my brain.
I lied. I did care. I am disgusted with myself. I'm a pyscopath, a freak, and I should be dead.
I start feeling warm liquid rush down my hand. I look down expecting to see my spilt peppermint latte, but instead I'm met with the sight of blood and my drink sitting perfectly in front of me.
I inspect my nails that pierced my skin and made me bleed due to the fact I was clenching them so hard.
Again, I deserve it. I deserve to lose all the blood in the world. I deserve to die a slow agonizing death.
Forgetting my Latte I grab my bags and get out of the mall.
-------------------------------------------------
Silence. I'm met with silence. Usually I enjoy silence, but not this kind. It's too quiet. There's something wrong. I just know. I sense it.
Someone is touching me.
Who is touching me
Help me someone is touching me
I turn behind me and relize it's my own hand and no one is touching me.
I giggle at that then take another long drag at my joint.
"
da da da, La da da da, La da da daaa
I was gonna clean my room until I got high
I was gonna get up and find the broom but then I got high
my room is still messed up and I know why (why man?) yea heyy,
- cause I got high
(La da da da da da da da da)
I was gonna go to class before I got high
I coulda cheated and I coulda passed but I got high
(La da da da da da da da da)
I am taking it next semester and I know why, (why man?) yea heyy,
- cause I got high "
The song quietly plays in the background of my empty house.
I mumble the lyrics while trying to make cinanam buns in my kitchen. I'm so fucking hungry. So, so, so, so hungry.
I put them in the oven and lay on the kitchen ground, Blunt in hand.
Life, we are born, we go to school for decades, we go to more school, we work for a whiny husband's and or wife's, we provide for our children that don't even lift a finger, we are expected to care and nurture for them when they don't return any of that love or care, we go bald, then we die.
My life is more complicated than this. I don't care though. High school is almost fucking over its just a little part of my life that I don't take seriously. I dont plan on going to college so who gives a shit.
I take my cinnamon buns from out the oven and eat them not even waiting for them to cool down.
I take all the vanilla icing that came with the cinamin buns and swallow it down and pass out on the kitchen floor.
" I messed up my entire life because I got high
I lost my kids and wife because I got high
now I'm sleeping on the sidewalk and I know why (why man?) yea heyy,
- cause I got high
(La da da da da da da da da)
I'm gonna stop singing this song because I'm high
I'm singing this whole thing wrong because I'm high
and if I dont sell one copy I know why (why man?) yea heyy,
- cause I'm high, cause I'm high, cause I'm high"
