No, Im not human

Chapter 12

I look up and he is staring at me.

"Niall?"

He doesn't respond as he puts both hands on his head and starts pulling at his hair, dropping my things to the ground in the process.

I lunge toward him "Niall!" He backs away before I can stop him from pulling his hair.

"Autumn, what the hell." He says, dropping his hands to his sides now. "What kind of fucked up thing are you?"

I stare at him, feeling my heart shatter into peaces. "I'm called an angel. And this is why I never wanted to tell you! Because I was always scared of how you would take it!" I stare into his eyes and I see nothing anymore. I don't see that glimpse of light or happiness I've seen before.

Its not long after I look into his eyes, and end up collapsing onto the ground in front of him.

He drops to his knees, staring at the jumbled mess of a 'thing' on the ground in front of him.

I huddle into a ball on the cold concrete floor and a single tear rolls down my face as I realize I've made the biggest mistake of my life.

I hear Niall shuffling to get up. I presume he was leaving but instead I feel him grab my arm and help me to my feet. He puts on my hoodie for me and steps away once more.

"Goodbye." Is all he says before he walks away from me. He doesn't smile or turn back.

I watch as his silhouette disappears into the night sky.
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I wake up the next morning on the couch, I guess I never bothered to walk to my room last night. My face feels crusty from the dried tears.

I groan as I lift myself up from the couch and lazily make my way up to my room. Nobody else is awake so I don't have to worry about any interrogations if I get stopped.

I open the door and drag my feet across the floor to my bed. I don't know why I'm going there, it's not like I'm going to fall back asleep anyways.

I flop onto the bed and pull out my phone from my hoodie pocket and pull up my photos.

I'm scrolling through and seeing Niall and I being the weirdos we are, being fun and messing around.

My eyes become glossy with tears as I look at one of my favorite photos in particular. Its Niall and I in front of Louis' house. He is being the big "macho man" he tries to be and had picked me up. Of course I play along and I pretend I'm the damsel in distress and lovingly kiss him on the cheek.

A moment like this I wish I could go back to, all the fun and happiness of the past, and not the cold sorrows the present has to offer.

"Hey," I jump at the sound of Winter's voice, "why are you upset?"

I wipe the tears that I had formed in the few seconds of looking at photos "I told Niall."

In that instant her eyes become wide with fear. "I THOUGHT YOU WERE JOKING! AUTUMN HOW COULD YOU TELL HIM! HE'S LIKE EVERY OTHE-"

"DON'T YOU DARE SAY HE'S LIKE EVERY OTHER HUMAN! HE IS NOT" I whisper yell back at her, so we don't wake up mom and dad.

"THEN WHY ARE YOU CRYING? HE OBVIOUSLY DIDN'T TAKE IT WELL IF YOU CAME HOME LIKE THAT!" She gestures towards me to get her point across.

I can't say anything else back to her because I know she's right. I thought it was about time to tell him but I guess my judgment was off since I had let me liking him get in the way.

She sees how upset I am and comes in for a hug mumbling an "awe" as she does this.

We sit on my bed for a while, winter embracing me and me just crying on her shoulder, like the mess I am.

How could he do something like that, why did I have to do something like that. I kept thinking over and over in my head, not being able to shake the fact that the last thing he said was 'goodbye'.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

I feel myself twitching in Winter's arms. Oh shit. Oh no, please not now.

"Autumn, Autumn, AUTUMN." She knows its coming too.

I grab the fabric of her shirt and ball my hands into tight fists, pulling her towards me, wanting to hold my body still as I shake uncontrollably.

A panic attack.

I shut my eyes tightly, leaving me to see a whole new galaxy, somewhere I could almost wish to live, in total isolation.

I feel my body shaking, not just me, Winter is shaking me too. Stop winter, stop it. Just leave me. I know I've been trouble, just leave me like everyone else has.

I know she would never do that, I love her too much and she loves me just the same.

Niall. Niall, Niall, NiallNiallNiallNiall. I start saying his name faster and faster in my head, grabbing onto Winter like my life depended on it. I kept saying his name until it no longer sounded like an actual word.

He did this. No. I did this......-

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As always, I wake up to find Winter at the side of my bed, holding ice to my forehead to cool me down, I smile at her, and she smirks back.

"I'm so-" she cut me off.

"No, stop. I know you are, you tell me every time. You know I'm here to look out for you." She actually smiles at me after finishing what she had said.

"So, what happened this time?" I hear her sigh. "Oh god." I sit up, woah, that was the worst idea I have ever had. I sit there dizzy for a couple seconds and look at Winter to tell me everything.

"I don't know."

I don't know. I don't know?!

"You flew out of the window. And didn't come back for a half hour." She stands up and puts the ice on the nightstand, "You kept saying Niall's name and shaking, and I was shanking you to snap you out of it, and you pushed me off of you, and took off."

"Okay, I'll figure it out, let's go make some breakfast." Shit, shit, shit.  I brush it off for now, but I am determined to find out what I did, or where I went, I could have just put me and Winter in danger, forever.