See You Bleed | ✓

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"The loneliest moment in someone's life is when they are watching their whole world fall apart, and all they can do is stare blankly."

5 years ago

We've been sitting on the porch of my apartment block all evening. His train is leaving in a couple of hours. None of us dares to disrupt the silence. None of us knows what to say.

"Why can't I go with you?" I finally whisper and break the peace around us.

"I need to do this on my own. There's nothing for me here in this city. I need to build a life for myself over there and get my shit together, I must do this without you," he sounds determined and detached. Why without me? I don't understand and I'm too afraid to ask.

"So that's it? You're just gonna leave me behind?" I say quietly and look into his beautiful emerald eyes. Don't cry, don't cry, please don't cry.

He looks at me indifferently. He tries to open his mouth and say something but decides against it.

"Do you love me, Max?" I look at him anticipating the answer. Wordless. I feel a sharp stab in my heart.

"Please... Don't be silent, Max please, tell me you love me," I grab his arm and start weakly banging on his chest. Pitiful little idiot.

He keeps quiet. I feel the war inside him. He's lost, just like I am. He doesn't know what he's doing.

He shakes his head and I start feeling desperate. My whole body is trembling, I'm in panic.

"Say you're mine, Max... please say something, please don't deny..." I can't stop the tears from falling down my cheeks.

He gently pulls his arm away and starts picking up his bags. "Please don't leave me," my last words.

My chest is aching so fucking badly. My whole world is crumbling right in front of him. Why can't he see that? How am I supposed to live without him?

"Goodbye, Sasha. Forgive me." His last words.

This isn't happening. It's just a bad dream. Wake up. Please wake up.