Reddie One Shots

The Bet

This was not how this night was supposed to go. For one, Eddie wasn't supposed to be drunk. He had promised himself he would never drink at a college party, but apparently Beverly and Stan had made a bet of who could spike more of Eddie's drinks.

Eddie may not have enjoyed his drunk self, but Richie, oh boy, he loved it. Eddie was one of those people that you couldn't tell was drunk until you were halfway through a conversation. Richie was in for a pleasant surprise during the night. This surprise was an overly affectionate Spaghetti Man. It was about an hour and a half into the party and Richie had lost Eddie, so he was sitting in the corner with Bill and Stan. There weren't enough seats, so Stan was sitting on Bill's lap.

"Richie, look at those cute little shits. Why aren't we like them?" Eddie had found his way over to Richie from the crowded 'dancefloor.' Stan saw Bev staring at him as she held up the number four with her hand. He needed to step up his game.

On his way to Richie, Beverly shoved another cup into Eddie's hand and whispered, "Chug."

It looked like water to him and he downed it. "Thanks, Bev!"

Stan flipped her off from the corner. "That bitch," he whispered to his lover boy, and he promptly cuddled further into Bill. Bill hugged him, honestly ready to fall asleep. He wasn't a fan of late nights.

Eddie made his way over to Richie and threw his arms lazily around his shoulders. "Look how cute they are." He gestured to Stan and Bill. "Why don't we ever do anything like that?" Eddie decided to use Richie's kryptonite... Puppy dog eyes.

"You know I can't say no to that, Spaghett." He walked over to an open spot on a couch. "Hop on, hot stuff," Richie said seductively with a sultry wink.

Eddie laughed, rolling his eyes, and sat down daintily. Stan brought him some "grapejuice" just to be a "good friend" before running off to find Bev.

Ben sat on the other end of the couch with his face buried deep within a thick novel, and when I say thick, I mean super thick. Thicker than a bowl of oatmeal. Thiccc with three c's.

"What you got, Eds?" Richie asked. He didn't trust Stan or his unusually friendly motives.

"Just some grape juice. It's full of nutrients," Eddie said matter-of-factly. At that statement, Bev walked over with two drinks in her hand. She handed one to her soulmate, who smiled gratefully in response. The other was given to Eddie who had just finished his suspicious purpley beverage. Richie looked at her suspiciously, but Bev shrugged it off.
On her walk to get her own beverage, she showed her full hand with all fingers extended to Stan, plus the number 1 one her other hand, who promptly showed her his special third finger.

Meanwhile, Bill was asleep in the corner and Ben had gone to find another book. Eddie turned his head to look at Richie. "Do you seriously have a boner right now?" He raised an eyebrow judgementally.

"Maybe. So what if I did?"

"Then I would rip your dick off."

"What the-?" Richie grabbed Eddie's drink from him and took a good whiff. "BEVERLY I SWEAR TO GOD-" He tossed the solo cup aside, not caring that there was still, as Bev put it, "apple juice" inside it. He then started walking towards Bev's general direction with his slight erection still in full view. Stan took this as an opportunity to pass Eddie two cups.

"Thanks, Stanny-" Eddie gave him an uncomfortable side hug before chugging one drink and bringing another with him to find Richie, who was currently asking Bev why the fuck she would intoxicate the little bean. Eddie finished his other drink right before he found Richie. For such a smol, nonalcoholic boi, he was really putting 'em down fast.

Bev finally gave in and told Richie about the bet that she was winning. Richie was scared to hear just how much alcohol Eddie had consumed. However, before he could hear her confession, Eddie came out of nowhere and hugged Richie tightly. "I'm sorry. I love youuuuu-" he laughed.

"I love you too, but I think it's time to get some water."

"But why? I feel great," Eddie slurred. "Like... REALLY great, come on!" He pulled Richie through the crowd of people suddenly.  Before Eddie could make a fool of himself, Richie scooped him up and sat him next to a sleeping Bill. "Richiiiieeeee-" Eddie pouted, using his perfected puppy dog eyes for the second time that night.

"No, I think it's nap time. As much as I love you throwing yourself all over me, very willingly, I would prefer for the fun, slightly kinky shit to happen in a mostly sober environment."

Eddie giggled uncontrollably like a six year old, "You said 'kinky.'" Eddie reached for Richie's hands lazily, "and besides, I'd rather nap with youuuuuuu-"

"Then let's go back to my place and sleep, Eddie."

"Yeah, sleep," Eddie giggled.

"Yes. Sleep."

"Okie dokie, Richie...okie?" Eddie turned into a humanoid koala and clung to Richie the whole way home.

While this was occurring, Stan gazed lovingly at the string bean that is Bill.

When they got home, Eddie hadn't gotten much better. Turns out if you set inner Eddie free, he was one kinky, horny little motherfucker.

"Suck my dick, sexy thing," Eddie said, completely seriously. "C'monnnn-" he knew exactly where Richie's bedroom was. "I mean, if you don't wanna do that I'm fine for anything else." The 's' was held out slightly longer than usual, but other than that it was like talking to sober Eddie.

"How about some friendly cuddling? No sex just yet," Richie suggested.

"But what about your problem, hmm?" Eddie smiled lopsidedly.

Richie turned red, "That was... that was before..."

"Before what?"

"You know what? How about we have sex tomorrow after you're done hating yourself for drinking so much?"

"But Richie, I didn't drink anything. I only drank the juices and water that Bev and Stan gave me."

"You don't really believe that do you?" Richie lay beside him on the bed, flipping back the covers for them.

"Well... Stan was unusually nice... And I guess I am tired..."

"See? We can sleep! You can have yourself a nice wet dream about me, Eds," Richie winked, kissing Eddie's forehead gently. "Yep. We'll have nice, hot, steamy sex in the morning."

"Okay..." Eddie settled in for a few minutes. "Richie?"

"Spaghetti?"

"I'm gonna marry you some day-" Eddie said as sincerely as possible.

"I'd say yes to that. I'd even wear the dress if that's what you wanted."

"No, I'd totally look better in a dress than you... plus you look hot in tuxedos..." and with that he was out like a light.

"Night, Spaghetti. I love you."

Stan unwillingly gave Beverly twenty dollars out of his wallet.