The Liar's Silence (Chasing Illusions #2) | A Novel (On Hold)

Chapter 3-I'm a Liar

When my mother died, an important part of me died too. Over the years, I died slowly, each year my will to live gradually withered. People think those who are suicidal really want to die, but I want—wanted—to live.

I really want—wanted—to live.

It's just so unbearable to live anymore.

After calling me on my personal phone many times over a few days, Aunt Lydia, to her own reputation, has come forth to meet me, presumably to drag me to whatever scheme she is planning in her head.

When I open the door, the first thing I note is her scandalous dress, showing off her thighs that are flabby, with ruined makeup on her face, as if she slept with it overnight. Her pink, messy hair looks outlandish on a supposedly fifty-year-old woman, but I guess pink is supposed to make you look young. Or maybe she's mourning over the lost time of her youth. I don't know, nor do I care.

"Olivia, dear, I've been calling you for ages but you didn't pick up." She shuffles in, pushing me aside to get into the apartment. She fans herself with her hand, staring at the landfill at her feet with distaste. "You can't live in a pigsty like this. You got to clean up, girl."

"If you don't like it, you can get out." The more I look at her, the more I wonder how she is my aunt. Aunts should be more... adult, not looking like a hello-kitty wannabe.

"As always with that nasty treatment." She sighs. "I hear from Dolores that you got fired. She was pretty pissed with the way you act."

I shrug. "It's about time I screw something up. I just happen to screw my job up."

She kicks the things away and makes her way to the couch. She eyes me, with a sharper gaze. Aunt Lydia sounds sweet at times—too many times—but underneath that is something else.

"You are being too nonchalant about it."

"Am I supposed to cry here then?"

"A year ago, you cared about it." She crosses her legs, placing her purse on the couch. "So much that you're willing to come and ask me for one. Where's that, now, Olivia?"

I shake my head. "If you want to psycho me, please get out."

"Olivia, answer my question."

"You aren't my mother."

"I'm providing things for you. It's enough to answer my question. Plus, I'm your aunt."

"Why do you care about it, anyway? It's just a job loss. I'll find another one."

"Olivia... I don't care about the job loss that much. I care about why you aren't motivated anymore. You are drinking again even. Why?"

I shake my head. "It's nothing to think about. It's not like I've done it since Richard has been inspecting me."

So much bullshit, Olivia.

I ignore Tanya again. Don't need somebody to tell me I'm bullshitting. I've always bullshitted my whole life.

She shakes her head, placing her purse on the couch and standing up. Walking to me, she places a hand on my shoulder. She stares at me, looking as if she wants /to say something before shaking her head again. "Sometimes I don't know what's going on in your head. Is it so hard to accept help from somebody, Olivia?"

I stiffen, then curse myself to show that reaction. I hate showing weaknesses, especially in front of somebody like Aunt Lydia. I just can't.

"I can deal with my own problems, Aunt Lydia."

She snorts. "You can't even deal with cleaning your own place. Don't talk to me about dealing with your own problems, Olivia."

"That has nothing to do with it."