You, Me And Him (Harry Styles)

Trust (PART 35)

So I ignored the box of condom that seemed untouched and grabbed my bags. Looking through all of them, trying to find my toothbrush and the toothpaste. Searching through everything, I found stuff I never thought I would need. Different hair products and all. My mother has always cared a lot about hair, make up and clothes. Of course she wanted me to care so much that her need of packing the whole bathroom in 3 bags, was absolutely necessary. My mother!

I found lots of makeup. All kinds of different foundation. Foundation as cream, and as powder. Lipsticks of all colors. Mascara, extra volume, cat eye look. Not knowing the difference between all of this, I just tossed it back in the little bag.

After looking at all the weird products I finally found the toothbrush and the toothpaste.

I walked out, trying to find the bathroom. I wandered around on 1st floor, and I think I've gotten to see the boys rooms several times before I found the bathroom.

As soon as I opened the door, a huge room was the first thing I saw. This was not like a normal bathroom at all. It was bigger, and it had spa and even a jacuzzi. A huge bathtub and a sauna too. This was like something you see in movies, not reality!

I stood there and looked myself in the mirror for a while. I looked awful. I laid my toothbrush, toothpaste and some face scrub on the huge and very long table look-a-like thing that started from the doorway, till the shower cabin. My eyes ran across the whole room, searching for the toilet itself. Bingo! There it was. So close up two walls that you barely could see it. There were all sorts of decoration in here that made it look more like a normal room with bath in it, than a toilet. I ran over to the toilet because I had to pee so much. When I picked up some toilet paper, I noticed that it had their autograph done IN the paper. Must be special made. It even smelled like Zayns perfume. I got up from the toilet seat to wash my hands. Then I grabbed my toothbrush and put on the paste. I never liked the taste of it, but guess you get used to it through so many years...

I brushed my teeth for what seemed like 10 minutes or something. I just didn't realize that time had gone so quick, until I heard the sound of an old watch. I was in a trance deep, deep inside of my own thoughts, so when the big old watch disturbed the thoughtfulness my heart skipped a beat. When I was back to my own self I realized I didn't even remember what I was thinking about during those 10 minutes. Although the sound of that watch reminded me of my grandparents. They had all these antique items. Old, but they worked perfectly. They had been collecting on all those weird, old stuff for ages. It always made the apartment seem warm and welcome.

I spat it out, and drank some of the water to get rid of that taste. There was a knock on the door which scared me so much I stumbled over a little basket that stood in the floor.

"who is it?" I asked, hoping it wasn't Louis again.

"it's just me, baby" said the same familiar voice I'd loved to listen to for hours. Just not now. Taking my time, I walked slowly over to the door. Pulling the handle I noticed how beautifully made it was. It had small pearls around it, and it looked like it was made of pure gold. I forgot I had to open up, and I heard him knock again. This time harder and louder. I opened up the door, just a enough to let in a little patch of light inside. He cleared his throat, and when he finally spoke, his voice sounded all shaky and unsteady. His face looked messed up, like when you've been outside in the pouring rain.

"stop avoiding me, Jess, I need to talk with you. A serious talk." he mumbled now with watery eyelids. This could never be good. Either he calls this relationship off, or I'm gonna have to...

"sure.." I mumbled back, heartbeat seeming louder than my voice.

He took my hand carefully and caught my eyes. He seemed to notice the hesitation. He's glance sunk to the feet and for a short while he licked his lower lip thoughtfully. Walking after him with small, careful steps. The hallway seemed different now that there was more light. I still couldn't recognize or remember which room belonged to who. I actually do believe you could get lost here, and then die from starvation. Leading me through the hallway, we got into his... Ours... Room. He sat down first then gestured for me to sit down also. I sat down, feeling slightly awkward and kind of tense. I realized he'd been looking at me for a while now. His face was like a question mark, waiting for me to say something that could solve everything. As I still kept quiet, he started

"ok.. I don't know what's going on." the last words sounded even shakier than it did before. He had now folded his hand 'cross his mouth.

"You seem to take distance whenever I'm around you.." he said.

"...not true!" I sounded like a stubborn child.

"it is" he said, looking at me. A small fragile tear rolled beautifully down his cheek, which he brushed away. Now I realized he was being serious. I hated it when he cried. He was like that precious thing you didn't want anyone to see nor touch.

"I'm sorry" I confessed. I had no idea I was 'avoiding' him. I simply needed distance.

"did he fill you up with more of his nonsense?" he asked. Suddenly I remembered what Louis told me, and guess he was referring to that.

"same, same" I replied.

"what?" he said, curiousness taking over him.

"nothing, really" I said, though I could hardly speak. Lying was that one thing that could really make me sick.

"You're lying, babe" Harry said sounding more angry that upset now.

"you know him.." I said avoiding his glare.

"I'd like to know" he said now demanding.

"just something about him being afraid that you'll hurt me cause of something with you're ex's" I said more like a questing, now wanting to know what Lou meant with it.

"oh!" he said. He looked at me, waiting for an reaction.

"so..what did Louis mean?" I asked.

"nothing" he said quickly.

"oh, right!" I hissed at him which seemed to surprise me. Now the thing that haunted me in the bathroom, crossed my mind again.

"maybe we should, like, take a break?" I asked.

"what? Why?!" he said, sounding upset again.

"to.. Like, think.. You know" I shouldn't have mentioned this.

"no... Don't" he covered his face in his hands. He now stood up.

"i can't take anything at the moment. TRUST ME I know what it means when people use that line! DON'T YOU KNOW ANYTHING? I thought you were a SMART girl!" he started yelling.

He kept going on, and half of the time I wasn't listening. I've never seen him like this. I just ran out of the room. Searching for the stairs I skipped a few steps a time, trying so hard not to cry. Reaching the bottom of the stairs I saw Niall and Louis sitting in the couch. They both looked at me, and it was too late. The hot, salty tears were streaming down my cheeks. Unstoppable. I just ran straight for the door, and OUT. Away from the chaos.