Off Track

Chapter 39

Despite Ryan's protests, Olivia did go to Kansas. She meant it when she said she needed to get back to normal, but she did open up. She also promised she'd take it easy and not over exert herself.

She and Ryan talked for hours. They both expressed how they were feeling. The hurt, the disappointment, the heartbreak. They cried openly as they held each other. It was hard, but getting it out did help.

For once, Ryan didn't have a lot going on for the weekend, just the usual media availability, practice and qualifying and a meet and greet with that weekends sponsor Dickies. For that, Olivia was grateful so that she could rest up, but at the same time she wanted to be busy to help keep her mind off of things.

Ryan told Bubba and Chase about the miscarriage. He wanted to tell them before they could comment on the pregnancy and say something to Olivia. He found himself wishing they had kept quiet about her pregnancy, because telling people they lost the baby was so hard. He hated seeing the pity in their eyes and the words of sympathy just made him feel worse.

********

Ryan started third on Sunday, and fought a tight handling car for most of the first stage, in which he finished sixth.

The balance was improved in the second stage, and he finished second, picking up some valuable stage points.

In the final stage, he was running third with thirteen laps remaining, and he made slight contact with the turn two wall and cut down a right rear tire to bring out the caution.

He pitted for tires and repairs to the car and finished the day in twenty first. If not for that contact and subsequent blown tire, he would have finished in the top five for sure. Luckily he was locked into the round, and didn't beat himself up too bad about it. He had other things weighing on his mind. More important things.

*******

The season was quickly winding down. Only four races remaining. Three opportunities to make the final four and race for the championship in Miami. All three good tracks for Ryan.

******

With a fifth place finish at Martinsville, Ryan still had a shot of making the final four. He sat in sixth place, only fifteen points out of fourth place, but he needed a win in one of the next two races to guarantee a spot.

******

Two weeks after the miscarriage, Olivia was cleared from a medical standpoint and was told she could resume any and all previous activities with no restrictions.

Although she missed being with Ryan sexually, she could not shake her nerves, and she couldn't figure out why. Ryan was amazingly supportive and gave her whatever she needed: time, space, patience and lots of love. She knew he was missing the intimacy as well, but he was always there to just hold her whenever she needed it, which was often.

Her nerves were so bad, she got to the point that she was making herself physically sick. She was forcing herself to eat, even though she gagged on every bite because she felt sick to her stomach.

Ryan continued to be unbelievably patient, telling her they did not have to have sex to be intimate. He believed she was still suffering mentally from the whole ordeal.

*******

An eight place finish at Texas still kept Ryan's playoff hopes alive, but those hopes were dwindling unless he could pick up a win at Phoenix.

After returning from Texas, Ryan and Olivia got ready for bed. Ryan looked at her with so much love in his eyes, and held her with such tenderness, Olivia, for the life of her, could not figure out why she was still holding back. When he kissed her, so softly and so sweetly, suddenly, all her nerves seemed to melt away, and she felt herself craving his touch. Craving more. Craving all of him. She melted into the kiss, savoring everything that was Ryan.

Feeling his hardness against her, and her own wetness, she was convinced that whatever had been holding her back was over with. She reached her hand between them, and softly stroked the bulge that had built beneath his shorts.

"Are you sure?" He asked softly.

She nodded. "Please tell me we have condoms because I have not been able to go back on the pill just yet."

********

The NASCAR season had come to an end.  A third place finish at Phoenix was not enough for Ryan to make the final four. He had a shot at the very end, but two tires on the final pit stop was not enough to hold off Denny Hamlin, who had been class of the field all day, and Kyle Busch, who had four fresh tires.

A strong run at Homestead ended the season. Ryan finished a career high seventh place in the final point standings. He actually tied for sixth, but the tie breaker went to Kyle Larson. Ryan also had a career high top tens and top fives.

Ryan and Olivia were looking forward to the off season. They had holidays and family time, the NASCAR banquet in Nashville, and a fun vacation with friends planned. Most of all, they were looking forward to time spent to themselves. They had gone through a lot in just the six months they had been together.

********

Thanksgiving was spent with Ryan's family, as Olivia's parents had gone out of town on a much needed, long ago planned vacation. Olivia didn't mind. She was happy they were getting away. She adored Ryan's family and was looking forward to spending the holiday with them, as well as meeting other family members. She knew how much family meant to Ryan.

It was a beautiful day. The weather was perfect, the temperatures mild, and Olivia had a wonderful time meeting with Ryan's various aunts, uncles and cousins. Everyone was warm and friendly and she felt very welcomed by them.

As most family traditions go on Thanksgiving, each person took a moment to say what they were most thankful for. When it got to Ryan's turn, Olivia couldn't help but notice he looked a bit nervous. He was more fidgety than usual. It may have gone unnoticed by everyone else, but Olivia knew him too well.

He placed his hands in his pockets as he spoke. "I'm so grateful for each and everyone here. Mom, dad, Emma and Erin, your support has meant so much to me. I'm extremely grateful to have Louie here. It's his first Thanksgiving. It's been amazing to watch him grow."

He paused, then turned to Olivia. "I'm most grateful to have you in my life Livvy. Reconnecting with you after so many years, then falling win love with you was not only the greatest thing that has happened this year, but in my life. You have been such a rock for me. You have made me a better person. I love spending my days and nights with you. I love working with you and laughing with you. We've gone through some tough times as well, but I believe we have come through stronger than before. Now, I want more. I want to take the next step with you."

To Olivia's surprise, he had dropped to one knee before her. The hand that had been in his pocket was now holding a sparkling diamond ring. "I love you Olivia Grace James. Will you marry me?"