Before The War Starts (FrUK)

Chapter nine

October 25, 1938
A few days ago, Francis and I made love in his bedroom. I should have stopped it, but I didn't. I am such a fool. No matter how much I liked it, it was wrong. I am definitely going to hell. After that day, everything went as normal, like it never happened, which was confusing. Was it just lust? Or did it mean more? I sat at my desk today wondering what this meant between us. I should ask, but would that be weird? Oh god, why am I acting this way? I am a man, I should.... figure it out.

I looked at the time, and it was about time for me to leave which was good. I was tired and ready to go home. On the way home, there seemed to be a reading newspaper about recent events in Germany. Things are still getting worse by the day and I am more worried about what is to come. Despite the propaganda, I try not to pay attention to many of the stories. If my country needs me to fight, I will be on the first boat back to London. It is a scary thought, but what must be done is important.

October 28, 1938

"On October 27, 1938, The Nazis began arresting Jews with Polish citizenship with the intention of deporting them back to Poland, while today, Some 12,000 Polish Jews were deported from Germany in the vicinity of the border town of Zbąszyń. Many of the expelled Jews were denied entry into Poland on the basis of the country's new denaturalization law. Some went back into Germany, and about 5,500 wound up staying in disused stables and other temporary shelters around Zbąszyń with nowhere else to go...."

"All you do is listen, you are going to scare yourself," Francis sat beside me, listening in as well. "What if he does start a war, a civil or with the bordering nations...? There will be hell all across Europe," I spoke. "For now it is just a propaganda talking, if it was serious, France or England would have stepped in, but they haven't yet. So for now, I would assume that everything is fine, darling," Francis spoke, and my head shot to him. "Don't call me darling; the shop is open, and someone might hear," I pushed away. However, he just held onto me more.

"Oh why not, I thought after our time the other day, it would be okay" he laughed squeezing me. My face turned red as I walked away from him and into the shop. "Oh, come on, I just thought that maybe it meant something...?" He asked, a bit hopeful. Does this confirm his feelings? Does he like me? Like men? "How exactly did you interpret it, tell me, I am curious," I smiled sweetly. His face started to smile in a way that was almost silly. Like a fool in love. "Well... I was hoping it meant something serious.."

"Serious? Explain more, please," I smirked. "Arthur, you are something else," he smiled at me. Before he started to talk, someone entered the shop. "There goes the moment," Francis laughed. He walked closer to the counter as he waved at the customer. As they walked around the bread shop, I stood beside Francis behind the counter. The lady took so long that I couldn't help but lean against the counter. "Look more excited, darling," Francis whispered to me. I felt his hand trace down my back, and..... "uhhh" was all I could say. The lady turned to me as I tried to keep a straight face.

Francis was groping my bum, and I tried to keep my shock in. The lady looked confused but turned away back to the loaves of bread. I pushed past Francis and went into the kitchen to take a breath. I think I was being pushed back to my limit with him. If that lady were to see, who knows what would have happened, would she have told people and had a mob of people show up here? We need to be more careful and less careless. Something bad could happen, and I did not want to risk anything.

I entered the shop and saw Francis bag the lady's bread. He was so beautiful in every way. It just can't be. After the last left, he saw me peeking at him through the kitchen. "I see you, darling" he turned to me with a smile. "Do not call me darling," I ordered. However, he just laughed at me as if I was a silly child. "I can call you whatever I want. You are...." he paused as he walked towards me. "..my love," he was so close to me that I hid back in the kitchen.

Francis soon came in soon after with a goofy smile on his face. "What's so funny? Do you want to be sent to a working camp?" I grew angry at his laugh. "Darling, we are not in Germany; let's enjoy this, this freedom." He came into the kitchen, pulling me into a long hug. "I would never let anything happen to you, anywhere or here in France," he smiled against my cheek. "I promise," he added. I have heard many stories of arrested homosexuals. They were mistreated, with thousands sent to camps just this April. It was terrifying.

I let go of him and just stared. "Arthur, please, I have a deep affection for you that I can't bare hold back any longer. I want to show you every day. We can not show the world this feeling, but we can at least show each other," he smiled sadly at me. "Francis, if I do, I don't want to be the reason we get in trouble," I added. "Yes, I know, but you don't understand how much I am willing to risk for you. My love, my dearest Arthur," he smiled at me hopefully. If this is what it takes to be happy, "fine... I want in," I smiled.

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