Celestial Academy

Chapter 12 : Trust or Hate?

Chapter 12: Trust or Hate?

"Wait!" Mabilis kong niligpit ang mga librong binabasa ko nang maglakad paalis si Ryzien. Binilisan ko ang lakad ko para makasunod sa kanya. I need him! I've been looking for someone like me! He's just there! If only I knew it earlier!

"What?" Masungit nitong tanong.

We both stopped from walking. Tiningnan ako ni Ryzien, nagtataka at naghihintay ng sasabihin ko. I opened my mouth, but no words wants to come out. Wala akong masabi! Paano ko sisimulan?! He was hiding it from everyone! Paano ko sasabihun na alam ko ang sikreto niya?! Why did Miss Hilda suddenly told me about it?! It's from his mother!

"Tsk." He was about to walk away again but I grabbed his arm immediately. Nakakunot ang noo niyang tiningnan ang kamay ko bago inis na tumingin sa mata ko.

The only words that came out of my mouth were the least I expected. It is the only thing I could think of to be close to him! "Be my training partner. Help me use my magic."

He took my wrist to take off my hand before rolling his eyes and walking away. Mabilis akong naglakad ulit para makahabol. Why the hell is he like this?! If it is wasn't for him being born like me, I wouldn't be talking to him! "Ryzien! Can't you hear me?!"

"I can. I refused. Stop following me, stupid."

"But please— Listen to me! I need you to train me!"

"Tell Kai to do it," he said, coldly. "You've been hanging with him for days. You didn't even care about the people who were crying because of you." Nagtaka ako sa sinabi ni Ryzien na mayroong irita sa tono ng boses niya. Crying? Sinong umiiyak dahil sa akin? Wala akong maalala na mayroon akong inaway sa Academy o ibang nakausapbm bukod kay Kai.

"Of course I would hang out with him! He is the only friend I have here!" Alam kong galit si Ryzien kay Kai dahil sa assessment nila. I don't even care about that. Wala pa ako dito non! "No one was crying because of me!"

"Danayah did." He shrugged, looking straight while walking. "She was worried because you lost a family, but you've been pushing her away. So cruel, Amara," pailing-iling niyang sabi at nagkibit balikat.

"Wait, what?" Why would she cry because she was worried? I mean, we were not even... friends? It was just their mission... She's been hanging around with me to keep an eye on me. "I... I wasn't pushing her away."

"You were pushing them away," he said. "I do not know why you are afraid to trust these people, but I do not also trust you. You are a stubborn, troublemaker."

Napairap ako at nainis. "I need you to train me! The Headmistress wants you to train me! I won't do this if I have a choice!" Kahit na ang totoo ay pinili ko lang siya dahil sa nabasa kong sulat ng kanyang ina. Baka may alam si Ryzien! Baka alam ni Ryzien kung bakit ganoon kami katagal bago pinanganak.

"Gosh, stay away from me."

Inis na hinila ko ang kanyang kamay papunta sa loob ng silid na nakita kong nakabukas ang pinto. Walang tao dito dahil pakiramdam ko ay walang klase. I closed the door and looked at him with annoyance. Why the hell is it hard to talk to him?!

"Ryzien, I really need you to be my training partner!" I said.

"And I need you to stay away from me."

He pulled me away from the door and was about to open it, but I stopped him. "You were inside your mother's womb for twenty years. Ako rin."

He looked at me with a confused look. Wondering how did I know about it. Bumuntong hininga ako bago inabot sa kanya ang sulat na pinabasa sa akin ni Miss Hilda. Walang gana niya itong binasa at kitang kita ko kung paano nagbago ang ekspresyon ng kanyang mukha. Mas lalo itong dumilim... Halatang galit at hindi ko alam kung bakit.

"I am also like y—"

"You're not like me," he said, deeply. "We are not the same. Now, will you please stay away from me? I still have a lot of things to do."

"Help me," I said in a pleasing way. "I am here to know the reason why I was born and why my mother died because of me, Ryzien... You are the only person I now know who can actually help me. We might be... connected."

"We are not." He sighed. "This is the reason why we hid it. Kahit ikaw, iniisip mong magka konektado ang nangyari sa atin."

Nang tinalikuran niya ako, iniyukom ko ang kamao ko dahil sa inis. I felt emotional. Yes, we are not the same. Hindi parehas ang sitwasyon namin. "You don't know the feeling since you didn't lose her. I lost my mother. You still have her. Sure, we are different."

Naglakad na rin ako papunta sa pinto. I am wasting my time. Ngunit bago pa man ako makahawak sa doorknob, napasinghap ako nang bigla akong iharap ni Ryzien at isinandal sa pinto. Mariin niyang hawak ang magkabila kong braso habang seryosong nakatingin sa akin. Naramdaman ko ang panginginig dahil sa tingin niya. It's too dark.

"You will not die because of me," he said, roughly. He was panting. Naramdaman ko rin na kinakapos ako ng hininga. Napalunok ako. I felt so much hate. This should be normal. Si Ryzien 'yan, dapat normal lang ang makitang namumuhi siya sa akin. Ngunit... Iba sa pakiramdam. It scary. Nakakatakot makipag titigan sa kanya. Ramdam na ramdam mo ang galit niya sa'yo. What's this feeling?

"Stay away from me. I hate this fuck."

"Ryzien..."

"You are not her." Mas lalong dumiin ang pagkakahawak niya sa akin kaya napapikit ako sa sakit. "You are not her, Amara."

Ano bang sinasabi niya? I saw his eyes softened. He told me that he hates me, but his eyes says the opposite. I can't... read him. I can't understand him. All I wanted was his help. I can't breathe. Lumakas lalo ang kabog ng dibdib ko. Parang nanghihina ang tuhod ko habang nakikipag titigan sa mata niya.

Binitawan ako ni Ryzien at tiningnan akong masama bago padabog na lumabas ng silid. Napaupo ako dahil sa panghihina. Hinawakan ko ang dibdib ko dahil sa bilis ng tibok nito. What was that? What does he mean? You're not her? Sino?

Can I trust him? How? How can I trust someone who is pushing me away? Is this what it feels? Ito ba ang nararamdaman ni Danayah nang gusto niyang kausapin ako pero lumalayo ako? What did I do... to him to hate me like that? Did he really mean those words? We didn't know each other for a very long time. How can he say that so easily? Bakit parang... Iba sa pakiramdam?

It almost feels like he hates me like how much I hate myself.

𐙚 sachi:

hi, asterias! 2 weeks na hell week namin. can't singit talaga na mag-update huhu. babawi ako lalo na sa bakasyon. enjoy reading! have a great day always!