Dreaming of Drowning

Why Drowning?

From what I've heard, drowning is considered one of the worst ways to go. Mainly because it's just so terrifying. Realistically, I could see it. I can understand why it would be scary. The thought of desperately struggling to save yourself, your memories flashing before your eyes, thrashing about in a fetal attempt to obtain oxygen, only for you to eventually give up. Your body eventually shutting down and it all being over.

That, though, is from the point of view of someone who doesn't want to die. Someone who has a strong desire to keep living. I, can't resist relate to that feeling. I mean, I suppose I can understand why people would want continue living. But those are people who have reasons. Something else I can't relate to. 

I honestly think drowning would be...peaceful. I've pictured it being in freezing cold water. Not sure why but I feel like perhaps it would help me be all the more numbed. It would be dark, I'd be alone, and it'd be in a place I'd have to walk a ways to. Away from anyone who could stop me and in a place where it'd be silent. Calm, quiet, as I said before, peaceful.

I'm not sure I'd of restrain myself or not. Probably, as I wouldn't want to risk backing out of it once I'd started. I would simply bound my hands, if necessary, preferable jump off a small cliff, into ice cold water. I'd give myself time to admire my surroundings before I'd inhale as deeply as possible. Deeper than ever before. It wouldn't take long for it to be over. Which I want, a quick ending. A relaxed one, but fast paced.

So what do you think? Is drowning the worst way to go? And if you could go out by choice, how would you want it to play out?