Insanity

Chapter 2

The weekend of orientation flew by in a blink! It's Monday and I am walking toward my first class—English. I don't exactly love English, but I've always done so well in it that I might as well get an easy A while I'm here. I'm not a nerd, I'm not...exactly anything. I'm not particularly good at anything, but I also don't suck at everything. I guess you can say, I'm just average.

I hung out with Riley all weekend long, she is just like my friends back home and I couldn't be happier for it. Riley told me that she has some old friends here at the college already and has been invited to the first party of the semester. She told me it's a must that I go. I haven't been exposed to the party scene as my mother didn't exactly let me go out anywhere. Thinking about it makes me nervous, I don't want to make a fool out of myself this early into the semester. But if I want to break free from the hold my mother had on me, I need to step out of my comfort zone.

I'm completely zoned out thinking about the party that I completely miss the door slam the side of my body on the door frame. I feel the heat rush to my cheeks, and I walk quickly to the back of the classroom. I don't dare to look up until I sit down. Fortunately for me, there is only one other person in the room and that is the professor. Maybe he'll pity me now that I've basically body-slammed the door frame. A few minutes pass by and students start to trickle in.

It's so strange to be in college, everything is different yet still the same. I know that I want to make connections with people, but I feel so inadequate sometimes. I don't know how to work around making relationships happen. I just hope that I can keep Riley as a friend. No doubt I'm probably going to feel like a leech to her. I sigh to myself and focus on getting through the rest of my classes.

After I finish my 3 classes for the day, I head towards the cafeteria to get some food. I look around for an empty seating area, but everything is full. Oh lord, I can feel my anxiety coming on.

Maybe I should just go back to my room, I can't be here, I can't talk to anyone! I think as my eyes keep scanning the room.

I really can't help feeling this way, my mind goes into an uncontrollable frenzy and my thoughts don't stop racing through. I really wish I were just normal. Some days I don't want to do anything at all because of these feelings. This is exactly why I need to go to that party with Riley.

I feel a tug at my arm and I nearly jump and drop my plate. I turn slowly, half expecting someone to tell me to move out of their way. But to my relief, it's Riley. She smiles brightly at me and asks me to sit with her at the end of a table that has some open seats.

"Sooo how were classes?" she asks while taking a bite of her pizza.

"Not too bad, just body slamming doors and going through multiple syllabi," I reply. She raises a brow and looks at me questioningly.

"Body slamming doors...?" she laughs. "Wow, I'm sorry! I shouldn't be laughing but I can totally picture that," she says as I see tears around her eyes from laughing.

"Yeah, yeah, what about you and your classes?" I ask her. She sighs dramatically and pouts.

"All my professors are old! I really wanted some hottie to distract me from the pains of calculus and finance classes" She says truthfully. I nod in agreement, having attractive professors would definitely be a plus.

Our conversation shifts and we begin talking about the party on Friday night. Riley tells me that she's excited to go out and meet new people, she wouldn't mind meeting a guy either. I cringe at the thought, don't get me wrong I wouldn't mind either but how does one even go about doing so without all the awkwardness!

"What are you going to wear?" asks Riley. I think for a second and say

"Hmm probably just a nice shirt and some regular jeans," Riley smiles and then gets a weird look.

"How about you use something of mine, and we can look fine as hell!" she says excitedly. I don't even try to put up a fight about it. I am looking forward to letting loose for once.

We go back to our dorm and just hang out and share funny stories from our time in high school.

The rest of the week was uneventful, it was the same routine—wake up, go to class, eat, explore the campus, eat, and sleep. The campus is huge, I have been going out with Riley and a friend of hers nearly every day exploring different areas of the campus. So far, my favorite place is the back of the campus where the trails are.

It is finally Friday evening, Riley, her friend Hannah and I are all getting ready for the party. Riley has a tight red shirt and a pair of fitted black jeans against her slender body. She looks around the room for her black pumps while Hannah slips on her black maxi dress. I look in the mirror, I must admit I don't look half bad. I'm wearing a dark blue skater dress and gold sandals. It's simple yet sophisticated enough to not look like I came out of a dumpster. I feel the nervousness building up but for once, my excitement exceeds the doubts in my mind.

We all finish and head out to Riley's car. Riley starts the car and off we go to the party. It's only a few minutes from the campus and I'm not going to lie, this street looks shady. Most of the houses look old and worn out and several have condemned notices.

Awesome, we're probably going to have this house cave in on us! I say quietly. Hannah laughs out and says, "Don't worry, the frat owns the house so they had to fix it up, they can't afford to have their frat shut down because someone got hurt!" she reassures me.

I can see the party before we even get to the front of the house. There are people everywhere, drunk and...high. Cups litter the front yard and bushes surrounding the old house. We walk slowly up the path towards the house. I'm instantly greeted by the smell of alcohol and stale cigarette smell. Within a minute Hannah already has red cups in our hands. I take a sip of the harsh liquid and my whole-body shudders. How in the hell do people continuously down this stuff, man my chest already feels hot from my single sip!

Hannah leaves Riley and I to explore the house and talk to people. I scan the room and take note of all the people there. There are people of all kinds. This party does not discriminate, almost everyone is drunk. I decide to chug my cup and get this journey started.

About 2 and a half cups of beer and mixed drinks in, I'm starting to feel a buzz and my body feels light. I didn't know alcohol could make you feel so good. I get it now hah. I look up and my eyes land on green ones.

It's that guy from the main building I think as I recognize him.

He doesn't break eye contact as he continues to talk to the guy next to him. I look away and down the rest of my drink. I turn to find Riley and of course, she is nowhere to be seen. Before I can start to look for her someone starts whispering in my ear about dancing. I look to my side and find a cute blond guy, hazel eyes and a smile that melts you straight away. I smile at him but decline the dance, this, however, does not deter him. Instead, he stands next to me and introduces himself.

"I'm Dalton, a third-year student at the college," I can tell that he's not drunk. This attractive guy is actually talking to me out of his free will.

"I'm Alessandra," I say.

"Beautiful name for a beautiful girl," I instantly blush. Giving myself away at how inexperienced I am with the opposite sex. Dalton tells me that he is an engineering major and that he's a local to the town we're in. We end up exchanging numbers before he has to go help his friend out. I can't believe my luck, I actually got through that conversation without stumbling on my words. I did notice that throughout my 30-minute conversation with Dalton, a pair of green eyes intently stared my way. He never made a point to show that he would come to talk to me. But the intensity in his eyes made me feel some sort of way. I can't even explain the feeling.

Not long after Dalton left, I found Riley. She can hold her liquor pretty well. If I had drunk half as much as she already has I'd be wasted by now. It's about 1 am now and both Riley and I agree its time to go home. I can a cab and we get ready to leave. As we walk out the front door, I glance back and again catch a pair of green eyes following me. I swallow loudly and walk out a little faster. I don't know what it is about him, but something tells me he's going to be a reoccurring character in my life.