Chapter 8

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Last night was a mistake. I let myself fall for his helpless little boy routine again. I'm an adult now. I should know better. Still doesn't help that I can vividly remember and feel what it did to me. A whole lot of what I don't feel with the few I actually tried to date. I'm so confused.

I lie in bed a while longer before I decide to get the day started. I grab my phone in desperate need of some music. Soon, Not The Doctor by Alanis Morissette starts to play.

Teeth brushed, I go on a cleaning rampage until mid afternoon before I decide it's as clean as it can get. I pour myself a well deserved glass of wine and plop on the sofa. Right after I get comfortable there's knocking on my front door. Sighing heavily I get up to answer it. Although I would rather not deal with humans today.

"I know you're in there! I can smell the chemicals from out here!" I notice Tess' voice as I open the door. Her happy face immediately drops as she takes me in. "What the hell happened to you?" She asks with a raised brow.

  "Oh you know, nothing short of the usual at Casa Ortiz." I sarcastically reply. "And look..." I gesture to my wine glass. "Just in time for happy hour!" Tess walks in shuts the door and makes her way into my kitchen with groceries in hand.

"Rough night?" Tess asks eyeing me.

"A rough night would have probably been more preferable." I reply as I take generous sip.

"Spill bitch! Cleaning rampage, drinking before noon, and looking a hot mess. You've hit the trifecta! All this must have to do with he who shall not be named." She gestures to my appearance. I narrow my eyes at her in hopes that she would lay off. But this is Tess, she's family and such a pain in my ass, that I know anything short of dying would not get her to change the topic.

"You know... the stern mommy look might work on the girls and Brendan, but I'm immune bitch." I sass off with a roll of my eyes.

  "Buuut you'll spill anyways, so why the friendly banter?" She deadpans. "Besides, that barely there hickey on your neck confirms my suspicions." She side eyes me. Fucking smartass. And when the fuck did that happen!?

A few images from last night come to mind and I try to contain my shiver. "It was just like old times." I say quietly, almost to myself. "He snuck in through my window, said a bunch of stuff then I asked him to leave." I summarize.

Tess eyes take me in for a moment, as if she's waiting for the breakdown to happen all over again. "Okay, so it's obvious you guys have unfinished business... maybe the best way to get it out your system, is to bang it out." My eyes widen and she starts to chuckle. "Relax, you don't have to, but it might not be such a bad idea."

"How is that suppose to fix or get pass anything, Tess?" I sighed. Completely over this conversation. Although, my body hummed with the idea.

  "Look Brendan will kill me if he heard me speaking like this about his little brother, but it's not that bad of an idea. At the rate you're going it's bound to happen. So I say do it, whiiiiile you are in control of it, girl." Tess explained logically, of course.

  I laugh at her craziness. The fact that she was serious made it even funnier. "I'm gonna get another glass of wine, want one? Seems like we're gonna need a bunch." I cackle my way into the kitchen.

  Tess follows after a few seconds. Her face growing more serious each step. Thinking, contemplating how she should get out what needs to come out next. "Sooo.... has Patty released any info on his prodigal son returning? Reasons why? How long?"

  I don't even bother to mention what Tommy told me about his brother in the army. It's not my story to tell. "Radio silence on his end, which is crazy because you know he's got the gift of gab." I answer. "He's training him, that I know. I see them every morning before heading to work- and before you bombard me with questions, I don't know anything else. You're hovering, Tess." I accuse.

"I'm just worried about you, and also a little curious about how this will all play out." She says nonchalantly. Christ this girl, if I didn't love her so much. "Can I just be blunt?" I stare at her a moment and nod. "I think you owe it to yourself to be actually speak to Tommy and let old wounds heal. You can't do that when your trying to avoid him or falling into old patterns. When are you gonna start to live your life, Ellie? You deserve to start your life without this big "what if" hanging over your head."

It's quiet for a long while as I stare into my wine glass taking in what Tess just said. I take a huge sip before replying. "I think, I fear... history repeating its self. I know that by just being in his presence, his has the ability to rule me all over again." My eyes glaze with unshed tears and I scoff as one escapes. "I'm just..." I sigh heavily.

"-protecting your heart." I nod at my best friend. Glad in this moment she's able to read my mind so well. "This might be the only chance you have to finally get over Tommy Conlon." There's a slight pause. "Or under him depending on the direction the conversation goes, you know what I mean?"

I try and fail miserably to hold my dead stare, but it's useless. I bust out laughing hysterically. Only she could do this. Only Tess would know how to make a very serious moment funny. Not only to ease the tension but to calm my nerves about the conversation I needed to have. That I knew I had to have.

I know it's necessary but god does it fucking suck knowing it must be done.

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⏰ Last updated: Aug 22, 2021 ⏰

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