Unorthodox

Chapter 16: Regrets

'Bang bang bang bang bang.' I shot up from the couch in confusion and looked around at the wild room.

"Damn Gina!" I heard the low volume of the television and looked towards it seeing that reruns of Martin was still on. The crowd laughed at his foolish jokes.

'Bang bang bang bang bang' the banging started again and I groaned in frustration and ran my hand through my wild mane. I flipped the cover off of me causing all the Kit Kat candy wrappers to fly on the floor and wherever else there was space.

'Bang bang bang bang bang'

"I'm coming, I'm coming. Calm down, damn." I said mumbling the last part as I shuffled through all the used dishware and plastic wrappers on the floor. I opened the door to see an upset Mo. I tried to close the door but she held it open with her foot.

"Don't even" She said slinging it open and walking in and closing the door behind her. She looked around the room in disgust and then back at me.

"Bella, what the fuck is wrong with you?" She said looking at me like I was completely out of my mind. "You need to get off your ass, clean up your fucking apartment, and go take a damn shower." She said pinching the shoulder of my long ragged shirt that had food stains all over it.

"Mo, I'm really not up to a shower right now." I said sighing and walking away to go sit on my couch. I pulled the blanket back over me prepared to close my eyes again.

"I don't give a fuck what you feel like doing. Get ya ass up." She said yanking the blanket off of me. "Really Bella?" She said bending down to pick up a Kit Kat wrapper, and then another, and then another, and then another. She looked at me knowingly and shook her head disappointedly.

"See now unt unn. This aint finna work. Bella it's been two fucking weeks that you and August or Ian have spoken. You need to get up and continue living your life. Just because August and Ian said fuck you don't mean you gotta say fuck the world. Get up!" She said yanking the blanket that I had once again pulled up to my chin.

"Uggggggghhhh, leave me alooonnee Mo!" I said kicking my right foot.

"No I'm not gonna leave you alone, you need to get up and act like you have a fucking life. Bella you missed almost two weeks of school and work. Now what do you think your boss is gonna say when you go in, whenever you decide you wanna stop acting so damn miserable? And what do you think your professors are gonna say when you show up to class TODAY. Because you're going. No ifs, ands, or buts about it."

"Mo I just wanna sleep." I said throwing an arm around my face. "I don't wanna talk to anybody, I don't wanna see anybody just leave me alone."

"Now what type of friend would I be if I just let you sit up here in your apartment and drown you problems in Kit Kat wafers?" I didn't respond so she continued. "Bella I understand that your upset and hurt but you need to get up and act like you still have a fucking life to live, because yeah your not on good terms with August or Ian but they still out there working and doing what they gotta do to get theirs and you need to do the same. Get the fuck up!" She threw a balled up wrapper at me making me shoot up from the couch.

"Fine! I'm up! Damn!" I sat up and slid my hands over my face.

"Good, now get dressed for your first day back to class. I wouldn't be doing this if I didn't care Bella." She said behind me as I walked down the hallway. I know what she's saying is right. I went to my closet and got out a casual outfit and hopped in the shower.

August and I havent spoken since the day we had lunch, well drinks, with Axel. After he stormed out of my apartment I sat down on the side of my couch with my face in my hands crying for what felt like hours. I know that what I said to him might've hit a nerve but I was just so mad at him and I wanted him to go, so I said the first thing that I thought would get him to leave. I really didn't mean it at all, and now I wish I could take it back. I can't fathom the thought of everything that we were working towards to be completely over. I can't cope with the fact that we might be done for good. It hurt too much. And Ian, I just wanted my brother back. I know he was hurt and upset and felt like I betrayed him but anyone who knows me knows that I'll do anything for my big brother, I'd take a bullet for this man and I put that on God. I just want things to go back to normal. I shook my head as the water trickled down my spine knowing that they most likely won't.  I tilted my head up to the ceiling as the tears streamed down my face. Why am I such a fuck up?