I thought about it maybe twice. It was nothing more than an empty thought, one that gets replaced later with something more important. Like what's for dinner later, or what your plans are for the day.
But as I went on, as my days continued.
I thought about it more often.
I know you said I shouldn't, and you said I should forget about , as that'd make it easier. And I tried to go along with it, because I tried to go along with everything you ever said to me.
But I just couldn't benji
I tried.
I just can't act like we're strangers after they year we spent together. I just can't.
I can't see you with her, and just be okay with it.
Maybe you never loved me, which I'm trying to be okay with
But just know that I love you
I always have
And I always will
Nothing will ever replace us, or how we were
How you'd sneak me into your house late at night so I could sleep in your bed because you had a reoccurring nightmare
Or how we'd keep what we had a secret, like a fun little game
Or maybe you were just ashamed
Ashamed of the little secret you had
Afraid that all the citizens in your small town would make fun of you
But you never thought of me
How they would treat me
How they would see me
You were selfish
And good god please someone tell me why I lived someone as selfish as you
You didn't think of what would happen to me when you yelled 'fag' at me in front of everybody, just so when they saw me touch your hand, they'd know it was all me not you
You didn't think that they would give me black eyes that I'd have to hide from my poor mother for weeks
You didn't think
No but of course you can think for her
You can think of how she'd feel if you took longer than 10 minutes to text her back, so you always make sure it's at most five
You can think of the words you say to her, because she's 'sensitive'
What a load of bull shit
I think you're overly caring for her so you can push the fact that you're gay out of you're head
And maybe that is true
But I just want you to know that you fucked me up, real bad.
And got a girlfriend the next day, and then told me to just forget about you
Well I guess I forgot somethings
But I didn't forget the bad
Fuck you , benji Krol
- Jorge
I slipped the note into his locker, watching it fall through the slot and hearing it hit the bottom of the locker.
Me being by his locker reminded me of when he would push me against the locker, and kiss me when no one was watching
My eyes were closed
He pulled back slowly
"You know I'll always love you, right?" He asked. And I nodded
I swung my fist into the locker, getting angered by the flash back.
"Fuck you!" I screamed, my voice echoing off the empty hall way.
I felt the urge to look to my right, so I did. And there stood the star of my trauma
Benji Krol.
His eyes were wide, and he had a 'oh my god what do you think you're doing!' Look on his face.
We stared coldly at eachother.
I was going to question just how long he had been there
But I didn't feel like talking to him
Or hearing his voice
So I just turned around and walked away.
Maybe he'd open then letter
Or maybe he'd throw it away
Either way I couldn't care less
-
Hi I wrote this because I'm angry with someone rn
Word count : 645
