"Hey look, uhm , I know this isn't want you want to hear right now, since you're all packed up, and in the city of your dreams and all-
Heh- uhm. But, but I just wanted to call and in, and. Uhm.. ask if you still had my sweatshirt?
No okay, no, that was stupid, I don't actually care if you have any of my sweatshirts. Fuck, wear them and pretend it's yours if you want. Or was them up and shove them in the back of your closet, but no that's not why I called. I just wanted..... I just wanted to know , how you're holding up? How your place is going, if you're all settled in. If it rains just as much as you thought it would. I know you probably don't want to hear from me, and if you don't that's okay, just delete this message and pretend like you never even heard it, I won't be okay, but if you will then I'll manage. But, if you do decide to listen, I just wanted to say ..... that.. uhm, that I recently bought your favorite book. Yeah, it's good. It is, you have good taste although I never really doubted that you didn't. No, god , no I actually called to say that ........ fuck... to say that I miss you. And that I miss talking to you everyday, and night, and seeing your bright smiling face every morning. I never knew how much it would really hurt not seeing it anymore. And ........... I love you. I do, I probably won't ever stop, but, if you did, that's okay. I'm sorry we fell apart, and I want you to know that none of it is your fault. Okay? None of it was your fault, and if you ever want to talk again, just call me back. Okay, goodbye,"
I listened to that message over and over and over again from benji. It had been two weeks since he sent it.
I didn't know how to reply to it.
It was refreshing hearing from him
But also sad , in a way
I clicked my phone shut, and put it back in my pocket. Closing out the voicemail for the 10th time that day
He still loves me
But do I still love him?
