~On My Own~

Hour of despair

After the gems hugged him and kissed him on the head Good night they went into their separate rooms in the temple Steven was laying on his bed but he didn't want to go to sleep he was tired and exhausted and pretty much physically, emotionally, and mentally drained from well... Everything in general but he still forces himself to stay awake he is sleep deprived and barely has energy to eat anything but he forces himself to eat cause he doesn't want the gems to worry!

It has been 3 loooonnngg weeks
Steven was sooooo depressed after seeing everyone he loves
Like his friend Sadie and Jenny and sour cream and Buck and Lars and pretty much everyone else leave but he knew no matter what they will still be his friends

A voice rang through Stevens head...

"Even if we're light years away!"

He smiled knowing that at least his friends were okay and as much as he misses them he had other matters to handle with...

Everyone was moving on with there life and it was time he started moving on with his as much as he loved his gem Moms and also helping other lost uncorrupted gems out there they didn't need him anymore sometimes he wondered why they ever needed him anyways
He felt completely useless like a liability! He doesn't want to set anyone back or hold anyone back! He felt like he was a burden! He wants everyone to be happy and he thought everyone would be happy without him in the picture!!! He was staring at the ceiling and then he started to cry so he burried his face in his pillow and sobbed quietly!!!

He decided to listen to a song
To cheer him up since y'know music was his thing he grew up listening to music! He thought this sad and depressing song would help somewhat!!

He turn on his cellphone and plugged in his earbuds and turned up the volume loud and sighed heavily~

        I wake up in the morning
          sinking halfway to the
           bottom there's a loud
           distorted screaming
                   In my soul~!!!
     Everything is dark and empty
          and I don't know how to
             Fix it so I curl up in a
               ball and cry in the
           comforts of my home~!
              I don't know why I
                   feel like shit.
    I say I'm fine but I'm not fine!!!
      

            Immm dyyyyiiinnngg
               Innnsiiidddeeee~!!

      And all I see are demmonns~
            I try to hiiiidddeee~!!!
     
        ~All my deepest feelings~

Steven was singing along and his sobbing had ceased but he still cried a little he sobbed so much that his pillow was soaked with tears at this point he had no more energy left to cry! But at least he felt a tiny bit better it's just so exhausting trying to bottle up all his repressed emotions and now he was just trying to let it all out of his system!!! He also became obsessed with naming his plants after his friends which was very unhealthy so he decided he wasn't cut out for gardening
So he decided to cut himself but soon he realized that the gems would find out eventually and besides cutting himself to try and get rid of the pain wasn't healthy either instead it just made him feel worst so self-harm
and cutting himself didn't work
He had a bunch of dark suicidal thoughts but he dicided to erase those thoughts from his mind and try something else...

He tried everything he could possibly think of he almost ran out of ideas until he finally got a really good idea he decided it was best to take a vacation and probably leave for a little while he might come back eventually
but right now he needed to make time for himself... He was gonna try making it on his own!!!

I hope you liked the first chap!
Also I don't own the song or STEVEN UNIVERSE credit goes to
Rebecca sugar and CN!!

Poor Steven this boy needs all the love and support he can possibly get he needs lots of hugs and kisses!!! 💔

Total words: 690