Doodle | An Inspectokros Fanfiction AU

|Alone|

Amanda's POV

"Amanda! Get your ass down here and help your mother with dinner!!" my stepfather screamed from downstairs. I sighed but willingly went down.

"I'm coming, Ian," I called back, talking the stairs two at a time yet lightly as possible.

I was only home for the Thanksgiving holiday, five days into a week-long stay, and I was already emotionally drained. "Only two days left!" I said to myself, attempting to cheer myself up. It didn't work.

"Thanksgiving is tomorrow and we need to be prepared for all the family that's coming here," Ian ordered. "I don't want to see a thing out of place. Do you hear me?"

"I hear you," I mumbled.

"Speak up," he reprimanded sharply.

"I hear you," I repeated loudly.

"Good. Now make yourself useful for once and help your goddamn mother in the kitchen!"

I flinched from his loud tone and obeyed, busying myself with dinner preparations. Soon enough, dinner was on the table and we were all sitting around it.

"Hmph. The steak is actually halfway decent, for once," Ian remarked, shooting me a glance. I looked away from him as my fingers clenched around the metal of my fork.

Dinner continued in silence aside from the occasional clink of utensils on plates. The rest of the night went, similarly, uneventful, and sleep was welcome when it came.

Thanksgiving passed quickly and yet dragged by as I had to endure several passive-aggressive and even some directly hateful comments on my figure, my job, and what I chose to do with my life. Friday came, gloriously, and I was on the plane and headed back home not a moment too late.

As the plane got closer and closer to Jacksonville, I stared at my arm and began to dutifully trace a heart on my wrist. Thought after tragic thought began to flood my brain, not for the first time.

Your soulmate is probably dead.

They don't even want to talk to you, let alone meet you.

If they were out there, wouldn't they have responded by now?

What if they're as horrid as Ian?

What if they're already in love?

C'mon, why don't you just give up hope and face facts: you don't have a soulmate.

I sighed and brushed away the droplets forming in my eyes as the thoughts began to be too much for me to handle.

My mind began to whirl and my breaths stagger as I tried to stem the flow of thoughts. Breathe, just breathe, I helplessly reminded myself. I began to panic more and more before a new voice in my head rang out, loud and clear.

Let's do two tens five times, Amanda. In for ten, out for ten. One. In for ten, out for ten. Two. In for ten, out for ten. Three. In for ten, out for ten. Four. In for ten, out for ten. Five. There you go.

It had worked. I took a shaky breath in and relaxed a tiny bit as my roaring thoughts silenced themselves.

Little by little my breaths became longer and slower as I relaxed more and more. The last thing I saw before I drifted off into dreamland was the smooth leather of the seat in front of me.