Trials of Love

You're On My Mind

        The day was drowsy, a Monday. I fiddled wih the strapes of my backpack in the front seat of the car. Looking out the window I saw the usual crowd that hung out in front of the school. Though it was cld, my mother had the A-C running, cold recycled air billowed through the seats, chilling my feet through my thin fabric of my worn out shoes.

        Once out of the car by the stupid drop off system applied to the school I looked up into the sky. The clouds strewn across the dewy gray sky. I sighed walking past the gate and into the school. I was early, before anyone else. And alone with my thoughts. Leaving me to think about...him. I wondered if he even went to my school. I looked up seeing a crowd of kids flood in, I sighed, not in the mood for friends.

        I decided to go to my first period class early. I didn't want to face everyone at the moment. I was much to troubled. I decided to go to my seat, newly assigned. I expected the blonde to arrive soon. As suspected the bell rang it's shrill tone, snapping me from my thoughts. I buried my head in my hoodie, my dark curly hair peeking out. I felt someone watching me, my head popped up and scanned the room. Nothing. 

        The day went by normally, I was in a daze. As usual, but today it was about him. I couldn't pay attention in any of my classes. Once in History I perked up.  I sat in my usual seat in the back next to my friend Cormac, kind but  narcissist know it all, but my friend. He was being unusally loud today, and didn't notice my quiet. I was left to my own thoughts for awhile before I snapped to attention when Mr. G announced there was project assigned. Cormace immdeiatlly looked over to me. I half grinned nodding indicating I would join him. 

        My thoughts stayed on him through all of the class. Cormac occasionally spoke, but I didn't reply. Leaving him confused and silent. I tried pulling out some words out just to start conversation,but he alrady began talking with one of the kids from another table. I sighed once again burying my head in my jacket. Think once again. I wondered if he would be there again. I have been going to the shop for weeks, and only then have I seen him. My main thought was..

        If he was thinking of me.

I constantly made it's way into my thoughts, the while I have had them. It was nothing compared to what I have felt before. I was inflicting this "pain" unto myself. But it was slightly enjoyable. I felt something which was rare.

        My train of thought was disturbed as Cormac tapped my shoulder. I looked up to see him raising an eyebrow.I heard the bell ring. It was time to leave. I spent the rest of th day distracted. Unsure. Not paying attention lost in thought. I was confused that was for sure. I trudged the rest of the day. Ready to go to the coffee shop.

        The times of opening and closing memeorized I knew it was open, and walked there instead of straight home. I promised to walk with my friends to a local deli...but I needed to find him. Once I reached the shop I paused in front of the painting. The mystery lost, I knew who painted it. I had him on my mind all day. I brushed a hand against the delicate canvas, the texture impritend on my skin. 

        I would have stayed,but I couldn't. I strode out. Without even purchasing a so much as a madeline. I had to find out something. but my gut didn't tell me to stay. But once I entered my home, I regreted such a hasty descion. 

        Swiftly passing my mum, I sped down to the basment, my cards in the same allignment as last night. Perfect. Instantly my heart tugged. Colasping into the chair, I sighed. I would find him. I just hope he's looking for me too.